Letter to an old friend

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Michael Lee, Jun 30, 2007.

  1. Michael Lee

    Michael Lee Well-Known Member

    Dear Mary Lynn,
    A friend suggested that I write you a letter. I guess to get things off my chest. It has been 32 years. When we first met I knew in my heart you were the girl for me. Our first date, in the parking lot of the Little Brown Jug. Granted we were both a bit tight . . . but we danced in the parking lot(didn't need any music). We went home that night. I dropped you off last. You gave me your number and kissed me goodnight. I don't think I have ever been happier. Today is your 47 birthday. The first present I gave you was your birthstone in a ring. I was working in a saw mill at the time. The ring took my pay check but I was so happy to be able to get you something nice. Your eyes lite up. Just like when I gave you the engagement ring. Only that time you were so happy you began to cry. It felt so good to make you happy. Whenever we made love it was as if we were one person. I felt married to you and I loved it. I wanted to take care of you and make you happy. When you told me we were going to have a baby I was so excited. I really wanted to go get a job so we could settle down, just needed to get through the semester. Then you told me that it was mistake; we weren't going to have our baby. I came to get you at school. You gave me back the damn ring. We went out that night saw a movie. The Other Side of the Mountain. You didn't kiss me goodbye . . . I never got to tell you one last time . . . I love you. Over the years many things have changed in my life. I've been clean and sober for over 17 years. For a number of years I worked as a therapist and with folks having developmental disabilities. I'm a pastor now . . . Have two grown children . . . one baby. Last November they thought I had cancer. It was negative. But I had already decided not to take the treatments. My children keep our family together. That is a terrible burden to place on children. When I heard your dad was sick I wept. I was sorry for the pain you must be going through but more than that I was sorry I could not be with you to get you through this difficult time. I pray for you every day. I've taken care of a lot of people in my life . . . but I never had a chance to take care of the one person I love. I didn't use the past tense. My friend or whatever, thought I could write this and then bury my feelings for you. Ain't going to happen! As the old song used to lament, " I Can't Stop Loving You". Remember we used to go down to that bar off Jefferson Davis Highway, somebody was always playing that damn thing. My favorite time with you was that day we went to church. Afterwards we went to the park for a picnic. Your mom had fried up some chicken but you made the brownies and you were so proud of yourself. I was proud of you they weren't half bad. I have missed you every day. Not a day has gone by when I did not think of you and regret my life without you. You were the best part of my life. Looking back now I am just trying to get through. I wish that we could have been together in our old age. Held hands like couples do and watch the sunset from the beach. I wish I could kiss you one last time. I guess I am not going to be able to bury you. I love you too much. May God bless, may He hold you and yours in his loving hands, may he grant you peace.
    Love always,
    P.S. If you ever need or want me I am here for you. You will always be the love of my life ( My Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    That is a beautiful letter Michael. I am sorry that the past cannot be changed for you. Someday you need to do the hardest thing ever, and let go of her. Only then can you find the peace you seek. It won't be easy I know, but it is a step you need to take. For yourself and for Mary Lynn. It's like the saying: "If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it was never meant to be." Please take care my friend. My thoughts are with you. :hug:

  3. Very beautiful, indeed. I hope you will be able to speak with her again, Michael.
  4. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Had a tear in my eye as I read that, one of very few posts to ever have that effect on me, such a beautiful, beautiful letter. I really hope she responds to it. Good luck.
  5. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :cry: That is so sweet. :hug: