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letters found after attempts

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1 has anyone written a letter or something and attempted, attempt hasn't worked but people have read the letter?
what was the outcome?
2 i believe only a relatively small number of people do write them so i'm wondering why people don't


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I did not write a letter. I thought the reasons why I wanted to kill myself were self-explanatory--like no one asks why you'd want to put down an old dog that was in pain.


Well-Known Member
When you attempt and it fails you are always asked if you wrote a letter. Apparently it means if you did you had more intention of dying. It's a load of crap really. Personally I wouldn't write a letter. I am still of the want it to be an accident thoughts. I have written letters in the past. It's kinda weird reading them after it didn't work. It can be triggering also. x
I did but in my case my attempt was so bad I just woke up 14 hours later, my mum had just thought i'd slept a long time, I hid my letter under the floorboards afterwards, don't know why I didn't get rid of it, didn't realise she knew about the floorboards and she found my letter the next day while I was in school, I was about 15 at the time : /


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I've never written a letter. Chances are someone would find it after rummaging through my fucking room or something. And writing a letter can be 'distracting' at times(I think of suicide in a impulsive manner, in most cases). Maybe one day I'll write one up, when I kick-start my major suicide attempt(it wouldn't be for a couple of years, but plains have been rolling around in my head for a while). In that case, I'd leave various notes/instructions in a briefcase.


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I did but in my case my attempt was so bad I just woke up 14 hours later, my mum had just thought i'd slept a long time, I hid my letter under the floorboards afterwards, don't know why I didn't get rid of it, didn't realise she knew about the floorboards and she found my letter the next day while I was in school, I was about 15 at the time : /
how did she react if you don't mind me asking


Well-Known Member
I have plans to compose my suicide letter one of these days just so I can have it, thinking maybe that writing my emotions out in a letter might help me. And I'm so OCD about being organized and careful with these things, that I will write at the top of the file (since I'll do it on my computer) "This is just a practice letter, I'm not killing myself, calm down." -.- My family and friends already know I'm suicidal, so finding a "practice letter" hopefully wouldn't freak them out too much. When I actually DID make an attempt though, it was nothing like my planned ones - no letter or anything.


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I did write a letter and I did intend to die... and apparently came really close...
I wrote a letter apologising, explaining it was cause of me and not anyone else as I didn't want anyone blaming or berating themselves.
Stupidly it was the same desire to not hurt anyone that led to me calling CT to apologise for being rude that led to CT calling ambulance and police to break in... can't remember what I said but must have been suspicious :sigh:


Well-Known Member
I didnt really write a letter, I did however have journals & dream journals that said a lot I never said, though they were never found (I was careful never to leave them at home or take them with me).. they've since been burned as I didnt want the memories around..


Well-Known Member
I wrote a letter, I was about 15/16, it was my most serious attempt, i can't really rememebr much but I hung myself, lost consciousness for a few mins and had a fit of some sort. My mum found the letter then called 999. She still hasn't given me back the notebook it was in, and i'm almost 19 now. She went mental, it's so humiliating to be laying in a hospital bed with your mum and dad reading your note by your side. I will not be caught out again.
I had written a letter. Lots of letters, actually. My last attempt was the most serious. I took a bath to say good-bye to my body, had gotten my pills ready by organizing them into cups lol, and then proceeded to sit down on the kitchen table and wrote out a letter (this was while everyone was asleep).

My letter was kind of like a will and included the passwords to several online accounts. I've always valued my writing and had lots of private blogs and work saved in online processors. I don't like the thought of my work dissipating with my existence.

Anyway, being a bit of a hypochrondriac (I am a walking contradiction), I had a very untimely panic attack after swallowing the pills... my sister woke up, and I ended up in E.R.

I do not know if anyone besides my sister has seen the note. I think my mom may have read it but she didn't say anything about it. My sister responded by giving me back a letter, telling me to not give up on life and our family. I did not read it until a week later (I was pretty much asleep the first 4 days). By then, she had already moved to a different city and we have not talked about it.

But yeah, I've also heard that a lot of people don't write letters. The reason I wrote mine was because I felt it was important that my family have some straightforward answers and to link them to my more private thoughts. I love my little brother to pieces, and I couldn't just leave without saying anything.


Well-Known Member
i have written a note to those that have been most supportive and have placed them in sealed addressed envelopes ready to mail, explaining that there was nothing more that they could have done....no way would i have them living with thoughts of "what if" or "if only" or wondering if there was anything else they could have done. i may not care about my life but that does not mean i would want others to live with even a small amount of what i did...i have already done the note as i have no idea of when, it depends on how i feel at any given time where i am who is here to distract me but i do know that i dont want anyone to feel bad and wish they could have done more, that is so unfair. in an ideal world we would not feel like this but we do and i can only hope that you all find inner peace and happiness enough to just hang on in :hugtackles:


Well-Known Member
I wrote a note but it was on a word processor and nobody's seen it. I don't think it's good enough to sum up all of my reasons for why I'm messed up. If they find it, I don't know what would happen.


Antiquities Friend
I am writing my letters as I answer this post!! I am putting them all into a journal and will leave the journal with my body - it has instructions for my husband to distribute the letters. Not sure if the process of writing them will help - but I am determined to check out in the next day or so, so at least they will be written and done. They are on my checklist, one of the last things.
Not sure having read through this forum whether letters are the right or wrong thing to do - but if i write them i have the choice of leaving them or not dont i? at least with them written i can go ahead when the time is right.


Well-Known Member
I wrote a letter to my parents and my sisters. They were the only ones I thought would really miss me and want to know why. It was very difficult toput into words why, and I mostly just thanked them for loving me,a nd apologized for my actions.


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I have written letters numerous times. I do currently have a set ready. I just want/wanted people to know how I feel about them. The positive things they have given me. To also, not blame themselves, for really it is all my doing. I want/wanted them to know how much I do/did care for them. I didn't go into details on the "why's", I think that they know enough to at least understand. Just not everything. kmj221


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I have written a letter and after my attempt which failed on tuesday which no one found out about I have been rewording so that I can fit more of what I want to say into it I just hope that the letter will fully explain all my feelings and why I am doing this.


Well-Known Member
My attempt was an impulsive, desperate act to stop a spike of psychological pain, so I had no note. I have, however, written many notes in the past, although I doubt I will use any of them.

As far as I can tell, it's impossible to describe in words what total hopelessness is like. The only way I think comes close is that it's as if you are a large group of people, just dozens of people, walking across a frozen lake, when suddenly the ice cracks and collapses, and everyone struggles in vain to stay atop the ice, but it's impossible, and they continue to struggle until they're in the water, desperately trying to grip the edges of the ice, but it's hopeless, so they drown, and the last thing anyone sees is all their arms reaching up above the ice, until the ice flips and seals them under it. And all of those people are you.

Or something like that.
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Well-Known Member
I wrote a very long letter to many people. Some things I wrote were not nice as some of the people were part of the cause. When my attempt failed (due to someone unexpectedly coming home very early) I was taken to hospital. My whole family and even some friends read it. It still kills me now thinking about what they know about me now. It has caused problems and not just for me. Some people think i'm now crazy and some people hate me even more now. Some also never saw me again because I guess it freaked them out. My darkest feelings and secrets were in that letter and now so many people know them. I hate it.

I'm a lot better now but do wish it worked sometimes. If there is a next time i'll not write a letter or i'll do an propsned email that I can stop if I fail again.
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