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letters found after attempts

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#21
i used to write , but then my mother read it by mistake , she was utterly crush by it , and i never dare to leave any written paper down , there's are one that she hasnt read which the nurse has found out during the stay in hospital , and they read through it , it is really embrassing and upsetting to see them reading your secert and dying wish .

so now i go on a website that plan death matter such as funeral and letter to love one , and stuff and got it all plan out , so no one can read them unless i die .

lynn
 

Mirikun

Well-Known Member
#22
My attempt was a very sudden, spontaneous decision and I didn't even think about writing a letter at the time.

However, I've thought about it in the past weeks.

Does it make you feel better to write letters?
 
#23
I had a journal where I'd compile a letter or plan, regularly. I've now arranged it that my OH knows he can look in, and read it. Sometimes it's easier than explaining all my emotions, I find it easier to write. When I'm out of the darkness, as I appear to have moments, I burn the entries.
 
#24
I did write a letter during my attempt. I hid it though so no one read it after all. I threw it out afterwards

Do these things make anyone else feel stupid or is it just me?
 
#25
how did she react if you don't mind me asking
Sorry warrabinda, been ages since i've been on here, been through a rough patch. She didn't say anything to me about it for about a week, she told me she'd found the letter after I collapsed in school about a week later from blood loss (i'd SH'd too bad and not bandaged tight enough that morning) and ended up in hospital. She was arguing with me, calling me all sorts, having a go at me, then she said ''I found your suicide note by the way, shame you didn't do a better job really'' So yeah.... but she's always been like that so it didn't really effect me :/
 
#26
I wasnt going to write a letter, but after sleeping for a while after taking the tabs, I woke and decided I was going to write one, I grabbed the closest thing to write on, it was my journal though. It was a lot of scribbles; i was half out of it and didnt have my glasses on, ended up being to loads of people and 13pages long. Then I passed out again but was found and brought to hospital. My parents read it and found my other journals[i live by myself so hadnt really hidden them well or anything] so they knew everything then.
They just ended up being really upset because they didnt know anything before that, not even about the depression. They havent mentioned it since[that was 18months ago]
Not really sure if thats the sort of answer you were looking for?
 
#27
I didn't write a letter, I called my best friend, and I talked on the phone with him all night until I started crying, and then I lost consciousness.

Next morning, he was standing over my bed. Wouldn't say a word until I woke up, not even a word to my parents when they let him in the house.
 

distress

Well-Known Member
#28
I wrote a letter, shame i never really got to use it. To write a letter expresses ur true feelings about life and its tribulations, my reason was that i couldn't face them so i wrote. Its telling those who find you what caused this. Unlike the traditional letter, mine wasn't filled with excuses or written to make the person feel better. Why? Well it was because they all left me alone.
 
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#29
I didn't use letters at first, my first attempt was at ten, and was something I had thought through a lot, but not really planned. Even though that failed, nothing changed, but I was just self harming for years, and that's when I wrote a lot of letters.
But they were just for me, to help get my thoughts in order, and I always planned to destroy them before any other attempt, rather than let anyone see them. They didn't last long anyway, as I would routinely destroy them to avoid being found out. I think that the letter writing helped me out during those years, it didn't make me feel any better at all, and sometimes made it worse when rereading the letters made them seem rather shallow. But letters helped limit the damage.
My other two main attempts were much later, in my early thirties, and I didn't bother with letters. Doesn't seem to be any point anymore. The idea of writing such a letter now seems rather silly to me, it wouldn't change anything anyway, and as for making others understand what I did, they don't understand now, my death would only add to the confusion, not make it clearer!
I think that a lot of those people who don't leave letters might have written letters before, for failed attempts, or written something and destroyed it before they went.
 

Savsta

Active Member
#30
i wrote a letter left it on my laptop for my mum to find , whilst my fav song was playing. it destroyed her to read it , i dont think she will ever be the same or treat me in the same way again , it made me feel horrible and so guilty.
 

chipper

Well-Known Member
#31
you have to write a letter if only to save the police the effort some amount of investigation. that's how i see it.

forget about catharses... just don't want to burden anyone else anymore than i already have
 
#32
you have to write a letter if only to save the police the effort some amount of investigation. that's how i see it.
chipper, this thoughtfulness is one of the things you notice from most people on this forum. They tend to be the kindest, nicest people, whose primary concern is that they don't cause too much trouble for others, even when they are suffering terribly themselves.
Just read what you wrote there above, it shows a degree of caring for others that is missing from most people, this thought alone is enough to show that you are a caring, worthwhile human being, far better than the people who are hurting you, although your thoughtfulness for others probably wouldn't allow you to realise that.
Turn some of that thoughtfulness and kindness onto yourself mate, you're worth it, for sure.
John.
 

FBD

Well-Known Member
#34
I wrote a letter once, and all it said was for someone to look after my bunny when i was gone...all it got me was shipped to the hospital, as the letter apparently made them believe i intended on dying and therefore needed to be watched in a mental health unit. This was the only time I wrote a letter and I probably won't write one again if i try.
 
#35
I typed out a note on a word processor and taped the password to my computer on my laptop. I couldn't bring myself to jump when I got to the bridge (too many cars, too public, too uncertain), so I just came home and threw away the password.
 

ace

Well-Known Member
#36
I used to think about leaving a note but I haven't thought about that for a while to be honest.These days I just think about doing it and people will decide for themselves why I did it no offence.
 
#37
I did write letters for each person involved in my life. They werent found when I attempt and later destroyed them. They were accusing more than giving them peace for my taking my life. When time comes, I will write again but this time I will write differently. dont want them to have guilt trip.. but provide a mean to go on in peace no matter how painful my doings will affect them.. but if that can minimize things, the better
 

DrkZ90

Well-Known Member
#38
I used to think about it, but have long since decided against it. Mainly because nobody ever cared before, and doubt that anyone ever will... they will barely notice I'm gone...

the first time I seriously tried, I had already decided not to write any notes or letters.
 

Lexicon

Well-Known Member
#39
First time, it was impulsive, so I didn't. When I fell into long-term depression, I wrote a series of letters in a folder, envelopes and all, for if anything should happen to me (ie deciding finally, after a trigger, to end it). They have never been found or touched. I have a note in my desk drawer as to how to find them. Always struck me as an intelligent idea.
 
#40
Letters always confused me. If you're leaving a letter then something is important to you, you still have a connection worth talking about. It's like you're anchored to this place and that's the proof. That I would need to have a letter makes me feel like it's more about communicating the fact that I needed to do this rather than this being the solution to my problems, if that makes sense.
 
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