I don't want help with any of these problems really, I just need to let them out before I explode I guess. I know none of these seem like big things but everything is just adding up and I feel like crap. It's gotten worse and worse over, probably the last week, to the point where I just want to escape from it all (Would like to point out that as much as I feel like that, I am NOT suicidal .. I would NEVER do that to my BF and family..) Okay so probably the biggest thing is my BF living away. Yes, it's always been a distance relationship but we saw each other every two weeks .. now he is in another country and I haven't seen him for two months (Am going over in 19 days though.) I'm totally not coping with it. And he is, and even though I know why (because this is something he has wanted for ages, and it's a once in a life time opportunity etc) it still hurts sometimes that he finds it so easy to be away from me... I'm on benefits and do not work (Haven't done in over three years) but I feel like it's time I got back to it - despite me not wanting to! How do I have a job and still visit my BF in another country?! It's not possible. I don't think I'm ready .. at all. It scares me. I got a letter from the benefits office the other day - I know it's a generic one and loads of people got it - and it worries me that if they decide I am fit for work, they will make me go back... Even if I'm not ready... We are in the process of moving house. Well, we would be if the man would ever hurry his arse up! It's stressful. And I'm not 100% sure it's what I want. I will be moving in with my Mum and her partner .. But he is .. I don't know .. A bit unstable sometimes. My Mum is ill, she's been having pains for ages, and despite going to the hospital and being told there was nothing noticably wrong ... the pains are still there, and getting worse. I'm worried about her I hate how I look. I hate it. I'm on medication now to help me loose weight, and loads of people are trying to help me by getting me to go to the gym/swimming with them .. But I just can't. It's too embarrassing .. I weigh too much I'm struggling a bit with money at the moment. What with paying £150 for plane tickets, and £120 for a new passport. I grew up living with my Nan, and when she passed away in 2007 my uncle brought her house so that it would stay in the family ... Now he is selling it It feels really strange. I can't imagine driving past the house and knowing that it's not in the family anymore .... Also, not to mention the fact that I just got called a hippo :dry: There might be more to post later, but right now I've given myself a headache ..