letting go

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cavem, Mar 6, 2014.

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  1. cavem

    cavem New Member

    The last time I wrote down my thoughts like this, it cost me dearly.
    Throughout my life I have felt ostracized and useless. I have done many things in my life, from joining the army to getting married. I feel like I'm wasted space. I even hear my mother complaining about me since my divorce. I've lost everything. I work very hard and fight as long as I can to keep from getting overwhelmed.
    It doesn't work.
    I've tried taking to people about how I felt, but I never felt a connection where I thought anyone really cared.
    I know my family loves me. I know it would hurt my living family. I've even looked into ways where I would disappear into the forest and nobody would really know what happened.
    Not that I want to kill myself, but just not exist.
    I just want to let go.
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry you are in such a bad place in your mind right now. One of the most common symptoms of depression is not accurately perceiving your own self worth and dwelling on only the negative. Sometimes it seems like every negative comment you have ever heard is on a soundtrack replaying in your mind and every time you try to feel like somebody cares you find a place to try to prove to yourself that they do not or it does not matter.

    You say you have tried to talk to people before- I was wondering if you have ever tried to talk to a professional that can understand why you feel this way and explain it a little to you and help make sense of it? I think you may have good results talking to a real therapist or Doctor and getting real support. In th emean time, most people here really will understand how you feel and it is good to realize you are not alone in feeling this way.

    Take Care and Be safe

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