Letting it all out I guess

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by *dilligaf*, Jan 8, 2010.

  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    I'm feeling pretty rough today and I'm not even sure why.
    I'm supposed to be getting ready to go out tonight and I just can't be arsed. Last week me and my "best mate" had a major falling out and I haven't seen her since, but I'll see her tonight and I think that it is worrying me a little.
    I just want to curl up in bed with my phone and a book .. but that won't be happening.
    Then I'm getting really stressy over something else and I don't know why.
    Then there's this major life changing decision to be made and I have no idea how to make it, or what I want to happen.
    I don't know, I just don't..
    Guess I just needed to "let it all out" sorry.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hope things work out...big hugs
     
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Thanks hun.
     
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Yeah you did need that. You know you can say what ever you like. As for the outing tonight, I would bet that your mind is making more of it than it will be. If you have been best mates a falling out isnt going to change that. Sure you may be angry at one another but now that things have had a chance to calm down and the anger is out of the way, you might be pleasantly surprised by how the evening goes. And besides you deserve a night out. So enjoy it regardless. The phone and the book will always be there. But tonight is only tonight. So use it to forget about all the other stuff for a little while. Enjoy!!
     
  5. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Hi Sam,

    Well by now you will have had your night out, I hope it went ok.

    What caught my eye was that little throw away comment about having to make a major life changing decision - that sounds like more than enough to justify feeling stressed out! Don't know if you want to say anymore about it - but whatever you do decide, know that you've got a lot of support right here. :hug:
     
  6. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Ok, I'm home. My night went ok.

    As for the life changing decision... Basically I used to live with my nan from the age of 5-19.. until she passed away. My uncle brought her house .. He is now selling it and I have to decide if me and Mum should buy it or not.
     
  7. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Hey I'm glad your night went ok, hope you sorted out the argument with your friend.

    Hm, yes that is a pretty major decision. Do you know what you actually WANT to do (practical and such like considerations apart.) Or are you not clear about that?

    Sorry, don't mean to be the inquisitor. Just wondered if maybe you set out the pros and cons and things here, it might help with working out that decision.
     
  8. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Hey Tam, please don't be sorry. It's good to have someone ask questions because it makes me think more.

    I'm not sure that I want to .. or could handle .. living in my Nan's old house. I watched her die in the room that would become mine of we moved in there. .... But I can't stnad the thought that someone outside the family will buy it (And me and my Mum are the only people who can afford to buy it)

    So yeah, I jhust don't know.
     
  9. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    Hiya Sam :)

    I would say, buy the house; if you can afford it, I think you should.
    I reckon the place is full of memories, of growing up, of your nan, I don't know,
    I think I would love to keep such a place in the family.
    If it turns out to be the wrong decision, you still can put it back for sale, couldn't you?
    This is just my opinion, and, oh my, I wouldn't give a couple of cents for my decisions :tongue: :laugh:
    Hope you find the right answers, sleeping on it really helped me sometimes too :)
    :hug:
     
  10. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Hmm. It does sound like you are split two ways - I suppose if the memories of growing up there aren't good memories, are memories you might want to escape from, then living there again could be difficult. On the other hand, wanting to keep the family home intact is a very powerful incentive.

    I grew up in a big old rambling colonial house in NZ - it got sold and one day my brother and I were hovering on the edge of the property looking at how the new owners had done it up, the owner came home and invited us in to have a look. Wow. I almost wish I'd never gone in, the changes were so striking (all renovated, lino floors stripped back to reveal original oak floor boards that sort of stuff). It looked really good, but it wasn't my home anymore. I have a lot of bad associations with the place, but it had still been my home and I'd have given anything for it to have stayed in the family, to still be there for me to live in or at least be able to visit.

    Don't know what your feelings about it are, maybe you have mostly good associations (despite your nan dying there.) But I can understand the sense of not being able to handle llving there again. Things to do with 'moving on' from the past.

    But as Helena says, you can always sell or even rent out if it doesn't feel right. Also, in pure financial terms, now is not a bad time to buy a property in UK.

    Sorry long post. Hope it's relevant :smile:
     
  11. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Thanks u both .. I'll let u know what I decide x
     
  12. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    I just don't know. My house has just been valued so we can now work out how we could afford my Nan's old house.
    I do NOT want a stranger living there. That much I am sure about.
    But at the same time I don't know if I can handle being there. 99% of my memories from that house are brilliant. But then you've got the ones where my Nan was ill, and then, ofcourse, the night she died. I would be sleeping in that room. Is that a good idea?
    I don't know :(
     
  13. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    "Have a think about Nan's old house and try to let me know by the weekend"


    ARGH :rant:

    :unsure:
     
  14. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Sounds like the pressure is on! I hope you are able to make a considered decision one way or the other without it screwing you up too much :hug:
     
  15. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    What to do What to do What to do.

    My Mum wrote a pros/cons list and it came out even :sad: Even she can't decide :sad:
     
  16. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    ........... I'm going to do it.
     
  17. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    :thumbup:
     
  18. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni