Just like the title says, pissed off at myself. I have had a chest infection for about a week (sorry for my absence). Missed an appointment on Tuesday with the stomach consultant, missed psychiatric appointment on Thursday., missed diet class yesterday. My G.P is going to be pissed at me. I'm feeling better today which is a plus but I do not have anything constructive to do. Sometimes I feel like a child and feel the people around me should help me but they aren't. I am suppose to have a social worker but I don't. I want to drive ad have independence, I want to move out and get a job but have no skills and I'd be scared living alone. 1 great thing this past week though is no pain at all. I hope it stays that way and I am not depressed just lost. Just feel I need someone to literally tell me what to do. Regarding the driving , im on too many medications to drive plus I don't have the money. I just....I try to be the best person I can be but always end up alone no matter what. I have a college interview next month. Pre-paramedic course which im looking forward to. Need to lose a considerable amount of weight, I have lost 10lb in the past 2 weeks and probably more as I missed diet class yesterday. I have an infection on my scalp which I believe is from the fever from the chest infection. All symptoms have died down now thank goodness. My sister is treated much better than I am, she's 23 has a law degree, has been on over 10 holidays this past year. Yes I am jealous and annoyed that I can't have the same independence, my family do have real concerns for me though because of my attempts in the past but am I not allowed to move on from that? Can they not see I have changed. Feeling very alone, I always have to talk to others first, maybe they don't even want to talk to me at all. I try SO hard but don't seem to get anything back.