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Letting it all out.

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#1
What do you do when you become that fragile sick person that you only thought existed in comics and movies?

That's what I'd like to know- because a few months ago, I was diagnosed with a genetic disorder. Although It became formally known then, I've always been a sickly person. But it used to be only nose bleeds, but now its blood. everywhere.
At complete random moments I begin bleeding from my nose, ears, or from the mouth. Wakiing up at night, or in the morning, to find yourself in blood.

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I wrote that a year ago, when I wanted to join/ and write here. I didn't have the courage or the will to do it. After that, I've literally fallen and hit rock bottom. Self harm wasn't new to me, but it went too far. To the point where it didn't stop bleeding- but I was used to that. I think one of my friends noticed it and somehow got me to stop. But still after that, I would think of it. Obsessing over it, like I am doing now. Little after that, it got worse and until the point I would think of dying all the time. When I drove, I would think to yank the wheel into the opposite direction in a highway, or off a bridge. Or somthing ridiculous like that, then one time I decided to Od on some prescription meds. I fainted before I got to the bottle (weird huh?). And All that time I had one friend who knew. and knew. and tried to get me to stop, and get help.

I don't know now, because those thoughts are still there. And more prominent than ever. I think I need help, any idea on how to get it?
 
#3
writing it all out is all I've done until now. My family doesn't "believe" in psychs or therapist and such. I've tried suggesting, and it just gets blown off. Its kinda sad, but Now that I'm in college. I might consider meeting with the school psych.

But does therapy and stuff help at all? I'm not quite sure, because everyone in my family says no- then my friends say yes. I don't know who to listen to.
 
#5
I was raped for 5 years as a child, suicidal as a teenager raped again as a teenager had my best friend kill himself, had my son taken from me, had or has a verbally abusive husband and for me yes councelling has been a big part of my life and without it I don't want to think of were I would be, friends help to. Give yourself some credit and try it but please be honest with them about everything that is the only way they can help you help yourself.
 
#6
Okay.. So there's the school psych. And I'm going to try to make a appt with him when school starts again. I've never done this before- so lets hope it works out!

Thanks for the help . I'll let you know how it goes.
 
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