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Letting it all out

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by *dilligaf*, Aug 13, 2008.

  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Will probably only make sense to me and vikki so feel free to ignore me, just rambling out the shit that's filling my brain at the moment.


    yeah, so why exactly did it surprise me so much? she had a terminal illness that she's had for years. she was on oxygen. she was in a wheelchair. why is her death so shocking? it's not just me though, vikki feels the same. odd aint it :unsure:

    i am heartbroken for her grandchildren. i keep reading their myspace profiles and their bulletins, each one getting sadder...like it's finally hitting them or something. i remember being there a year ago and it hurts like hell. and i was so much older than them.

    why a post mortem? why is that necessary? we know what caused it. why put her family...her husband, her kids, her grandchildren, through that??

    cant face another funeral at that church. i dont know why, ive been there loads of times since...but i dont want her funeral to be there too. it would be too sad. not looking forward to another funeral as it is. its been a year....


    why did i do that? i knew the answer, so why ask?

    i guess ii wanted the answer to be different :unsure: i cant explain it, i know it was my idea, but i think i wanted someone to say no. someone to tell me that i was better than i think i am. maybe i'm not?
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 13, 2008
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hun I'm sorry for your loss. Dont know how to say this so it doesnt come out wrong so here goes. Sometimes when we have a loved one that has been ill for a long time, we become accustomed to seeing them in the situation they have succumbed to. We dont do it as a way to be ignorant of the situation but rather to accept it. And when the time does finally come, it shocks us because all though we knew the day would come, somehow we thought the person would be here for a longer time the way they were. Hmmm doesnt make much sense. I had a dear friend that battled breast cancer for many years and when she finally lost her battle, it was such a shock! Because so many that loved her thought she could fight it forever.

    Please try and be strong sam, you've got tons of friends that care and will be there for you.
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    thank u hun

    that makes more sense than you think , trust me :hug:
  4. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I don't know what to say but didn't want to just leave the thread without saying anything. So I'm sending you a big hug :hug:
  5. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    now we are arguing over who's going to look after the boys when we go to the funeral,

    what difference does it make

    what is there to fight about

    shes gone

    lifes short

    why fight

    why not just let things go
  6. Spikey

    Spikey Senior Member

    :hug: Lovely :spam: Am always here to talk :hug: xx
  7. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

  8. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    i wont pretend that i understand, or know what to say.
    so just :hug: