Ok, I'm gonna let it all out! I don't exactly have any friends to talk to so... When I was really little, I was cute and pretty and normal. Then when I was about six, I started changing. Or rather I didn't change. Most kids develope so they get more mature, but not me. I had a condition where my reflexes didn't develope. It meant if someone hurt my feelings I would either hit them or run. Stupidly I was talking karate lessons so I usually took the 'hit' option. So with this curse I stayed at the same school for 9 years. I was oddly opamisic every day though, just getting up thinking that, maybe today would be better. Everyone thought my behavior was my falt and I was doing it all on purpous. Everyone feared me, yet went out of thier way to wind me up to see how I would react. I could tell I wasn't normal. When you know that your not the same as everyone else and you are treated like a freek for it it really hurts. Well... when I was 12 my parents finally twigged I wasn't at all happy at my school. They sent me to another school. Over the summer holidays waiting to start my new school I had no one to talk to. No one from my old school would talk to me because they were finally glad to see the back of me. I comfort-ate and gained a fair bit of wheight. I played those online animated games where you can talk to people from all over the world. I was popular and liked on them and I could be anything! No reactions, No harsh comments and all the talking I needed to stay sane. It didn't matter how smart the other person is. (another social problem I have is that I, not being vain, am fairly smart. I find talking to people with an IQ lower than 110 very fustrating.) My mum took me to a child psychologist. No luck there. I don't know how my mum even thought of this idea but she took me to a lady who finally diagnosed me for what I had. I had to go there once a month and she would show me routines I had to do to get rid of the problem. Added to this I had a new school, a new home and my parents had split up. The lady curing me had warned me it would get worse before it gets better. My new class mates got my wrath. I never meant any of it and usually I am a well-natured person until something scares me or someone is mean to me. I slowly got better. But my class mates still think that I am a crazy person that goes round hitting people when I'm not going to, and perpousfully trying to wind me up. When I try to talk to them, or if I even open my mouth they 'Shut UP!' and in thier eyes I'm not alowed an oppionion or a voice. I might as well not be there. I tried explaining how I feel to my mum. All she did was go into a big angree frenzy about how me being upset makes her upset and she managed to make me feel worse... My dad isn't the 'understanding' type. My brother has the sun shining out of his backside and is a black belt in karate, has a loaded girlfriend, goes to the best school ever, is grade 8 pianist and popular. I can't live up to that with my reputation. All I'm good at is making up fantacy worlds becuase thats where I want to be. It keeps me sane. Thank you so much for letting me let that out, but I still don't see why I bother with life.... Hasn't done me any good. Also, please don't say that I should think about what life is worth and everything because I don't think I could sell mine for more that a few pennies.