letting out some thoughts

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Rukia, Apr 26, 2007.

  1. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    Today is my last day in school, and it's kind of sad. If nothing goes wrong, I won't be back next year. I don't think anyone will notice, I'm sure they'll forget me by then. I know that I'm doing the right thing, but I always think it's sad when I do something the last time. I still got my exams, and I'm going to do my best, even though it doesn't matter. I wish I didn't care about those stupid exams, that I could leave now, but I guess it doesn't work that way.
    I lie to my best friend every time I talk to her. She's always telling me how much she looks forward to this summer, and that she wants us to hang out a lot this year. I tell her that I want that to, but I don't. I'm not going to enjoy this summer, I'll hopefully be dead.
    I hate myself for being so fake, but I can't tell my family and friends either. :sad: I need to get out of this world now.
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Whats happening hun, why so low?
     
  3. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    Nothings happening. I just wish I'd killed myself 3 years ago, things were less complicated then. :dry:
     
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    And things will be less complicated again. Times change, feelings change, life goes up and down.
    Hang in there hun, things can turn round and improve. :hug:
     
  5. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I think you should take up your friends offer. Spend some time together in the summer. It'd be better than sitting around home lonely. And it's good you care a little about your exams. It may not seem like it but they help with where you want to go with your education. Hang in there :)
     
  6. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    It's not my life that's complicated, it's the dying part. I'm much closer to my friends and family now, and I know they'll get hurt. :sad:
     
  7. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    Then don't do it please. Lean back on them for support, they'll look after you and you'll see how much they dont want you out of their lives.
     
  8. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    That's why I'm still here, I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I can't do it anymore.
     
  9. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    You can hun. Lean on us for a while till the pain and sadness is less :hug:
     
  10. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    Thanks :hug: But I'm not in pain or anything, I just don't want to live.
     
  11. Just_a_guy

    Just_a_guy Well-Known Member

    Rukia :hug:

    I agree with Blackness, maybe you should hang out with your friend in the summer. But hey, holidays are starting. After you make it through your exams you can sit back and relax. Alot of good things can happen during few months :)