Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by anonymousforareason, May 10, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. If you want to keep callign yourself a support site or supportive, keep lying to yourselves. Keep telling yourself that your helpful as you shun people away.

    Don't tell me to register and don't tell me to show my face b/c I've done it all before, said it all before and it's the same shit different day. You say you're supportive but you ignore people in pain. I've watched, I've experienced. I've been here for years. I've watched the shifting of members. I've watched people leave only to question what has happened to them. I have experienced loss only to have people throw it back in my face. So you can't say I'm just another person being angry. Ignore this I don't care. Lie to yourselves. I don't care.
  2. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    i find the name interesting, the only reason to remain anonymous is when youre too scared to stick up for your opinion.

    thread read, thread ignored :)
  3. Not very nice replies, no wonder the member wanted to stay anonymous :(
    To me the replies just prove what the person is saying.
  4. S'up

    S'up Guest

    You can't ever expect anything to be perfect. This site is full of non professionals who are struggling themselves, but do the best they can despite their problems. People can and do get support here, but no one will ever get everything they need here. the site is not here for that.

    If you have been a member for so long, yet hate it so much, why stick around so long?

    I also wonder if you can say the positive things you have found about the site. Nothing is all positive and nothing is all negative (well, rarely in both cases), so whilst you have made a rant, there will also be other things that counteract what you have said.

    I think you have had an idealised view of this site and what it can do for people. Ultimately it can only do as much or as little as the person wants.

    Having said all that, I do know how it feels to get shit from here, feel driven away, feel the effort you put in is thrown back in your face, etc. But like I said, nothing is all negative. I've also seen a lot of people get support here, and get courage to find proper help, etc.

    You obviously want something from this thread, so what is it? If you really felt how you do and didn't want a reaction of some sort then you would have left, no comments made. You commented, so why?
  5. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    Well I agree with the op in some respects actually, this forum seems to be like a popularity contest in some ways, but I don't blame people for being like this, it's human nature really.
  6. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    if you think this site is so bad, no one is forcin anyone to stay.
  7. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I agree with this, everything has positive and negative aspects. I can just realte to the anger and hurt of the op. But I think overal this site is a good force. And yeh you shouldn't expect too much, you're the only one who can change your own situation, sf can only do so much.

    And scouse jm, I think you're actually being overly defensive and maybe even showing up what the op disagrees with.
  8. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    I wasnt even talkin to you :)

    Maybe I am bein a bit overly defensive, but to be honest at the moment we have so many "guests" and anonymous people comin in slaggin us off, I get to the point where I dont wanna be friendly anymore. Maybe thats not the best way to respond to it all, but this site gives so much support every single day, we're not perfect, and there will always be those we cant help/dont manage to help. I just think its a great shame that lately only the negative seems to make headlines, like we're supposed to be some kind of flawless heroes.

    It is hard enough for us all dealing with all the problems we've got and then still trying to be strong for others, I just dont think we need that extra bit of pain.
  9. S'up

    S'up Guest

    People generally do that because they want a reaction and attention and historically negative behaviour gets more attention than positive.

    Also, people who are on a site like this can easily have something like depression where they can find it hard to see positives, or something like BPD where they might swing from one extreme to the other, and only see the negative at some times.

    If it winds you up, maybe, for your own sake, stay away from them, or try to pity the people who feel unable to be brave and post with their name, or who are so desperate for attention they resort to any means necessary. I would guess this person is desperate for help and doesn't know how else to get it right now. They deserve pity, although I do understand why, when you love a place, it winds you up when people can only see certain aspects of it.

    (oh, and I'm appearing anon because I haven't been on this site for over a year and am 'test driving' how it would be like before deciding whether to come back properly or not. You may know me as Scum).
  10. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    I totally understand what youre saying and you might be right, maybe for my own sake I should stay away from posts like these. Unfortunately though, i have always been the kind of person to stcik up for the people I care about and its hard for me to just ignore stuff like this, it feels like lettin people gettin away with sayin horrible things about good people. But yeah I still get what youre saying.
  11. JayLee

    JayLee Well-Known Member

    *stands behind Scouse and nods*
  12. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    thank you :hug: name change :eek:hmy: :laugh:
  13. S'up

    S'up Guest

    Yeh, I understand that need/want to do that. Just remember that if sticking up for SF is harming you, that is counter productive because SF is then becoming a place that hurts you. And don't forget, there are plenty of other people who will stick up for SF too. It doesn't fall solely on your shoulders, so it is ok to put yourself first.

    But I can relate, a lot. I hope you're ok.

  14. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    thank you :hug:
  15. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I totally get what scouse and s'up are saying and i respect it but let's not gang up on the op, it's not nice and everyone's allowed an opnion. :hug:
  16. JayLee

    JayLee Well-Known Member

    indeed. each to their own.
  17. S'up

    S'up Guest

    The posts I made to the OP were balanced and fair, and not ganging up on them. The posts I made to Scouse had a different need from the ones I made to the OP, and they were balanced and fair too. I hold no strong feelings. I am looking from the outside, trying to be balanced and look at all sides. No ganging up happening here, not at all.
  18. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    It is very unfair of you to say that we are lying to ourselves and 'calling ourselves a support forum'. I joined this site in November because I was suicidal and had no one to turn to, this site has helped me greatly, the people I have met here also encouraged me to seek help in the 'real world'. I do my best trying to support the friends i have made here, and to give them a listening ear when they have no one to turn to. This site obviously hasn't helped you, but that doesnt give you the right to say that this site is full of lies and no support. If you hate it that much, why are you still here?

    If you need someone to talk to or just someone that will listen, feel free to PM me.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 10, 2008
  19. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i find the concept of "popularity" on a suicide website really strange. what would that even look like? i have posted and sometimes i do *not* get a single response, not even one, but then there's other times i get a bunch of responses. same thing in chat, sometimes i logon and nobody even bothers to say hi even after i say hi to the room.

    i think each of us just has to take responsibility for our own wellbeing - sometimes we are in need, other times we can offer loads of support, and other times all we can manage is a post here and there.

    to the OP -- was it your experience that *you* were shunned here or is it a general observation? was it something like i described above? if so, i'm really sorry that happened. :(
  20. Cath

    Cath Staff Alumni

    It was me that posted that.
    Saying thread read, thread ignored was not a very nice thing to say :mad:
    Have you ever felt completely on your own like no one gives a shit how you feel?
    It might not be true but the feelings are still there.

    I also agree with what S'up says
    :hug: op
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.