Lies.. ALL LIES

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Anam_Cara, Sep 26, 2008.

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  1. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    it's been proven yet again tonight that nothing is ever okay..

    how many times ive heard people around me, and people on this forum tell me that everything will be okay.. have faith, if god is for you who can be against you, all the little comments people have thrown my way and lead me to believe, and in turn ive had others believe in, well guess what? ALL THAT STUFF EVERYONE HAS TOLD ME TO HANG ON FOR, IT DOESNT EXIST!

    all that i told the one i love to hold on for, the good things to come, where are they? I still feel them coming for her, even when things just keep getting worse.. and worse and worse... never better... and honestly i am WAY beyond exhausted now..

    cant believe if there is NOTHING to believe in, beginning to wonder what kind of being rules this universe IF one does, surely a good and loving god wouldnt rain tragedy and trauma after trauma on its creation... are we mistaken about this being, this GOD, that is so powerful he destroy cities, flood the earth, but he/she/it cant even be bothered to lend ANY assistance to those who so desperately NEED it? if we're faced with THAT powerful of a being, then surely a little help coming our way wouldnt be too taxing and hard for God.. instead some of us are left to suffer horribly, and with NO break, just trauma after trauma until we go mad and either kill ourselves or life manages to destroy us...

    i grew up believing that something in this universe power wise, gave a damn.. reality is SO hurtful...

    im done listening to LIES, people telling me ill be okay, that the one i love will be, that life is worth living, that good comes... im done believing
     
  2. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    I am really glad to see you back posting. please try to I don't know...
    believe that some people are doing all they know how to do and that
    if you really can hold on...sorry, cliche, but, the right words from the
    right person can make you make it thru the day, thru the night. then
    tomorrow, we start all over again. up that hill, down that next one.

    please stay and post awhile ok? please?
     
  3. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    you still there?
     
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi SJ. Sorry to hear that things are so hard on you right now. No one knows for sure whether there really is a God and whether that God is loving or vengeful? I personally, don't believe in an all knowing, all loving God. With all that is wrong with the world, its hard to believe in a loving God. All you can really do, is do your best and hope that things will work out ok in the end. I'm sorry that you're in so much pain and I hope that things will get better for you. :hug:
     
  5. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    SJ, are you still there? "paging SJEverheart!!"
     
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please let us know if you're ok SJ. People at SF really care about you. I'm not going to tell you that everything will be okay, because I honestly can't gaurantee that it will. All that I can do is help give you the strength you need to carry on through this difficult time in your life. But it's up to you to make your life better. Praying to God for help is ok, if you want, but don't expect that God will save you from life's challenges and problems. :hug:
     
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree if there is a God then why does he destroy whole poulations with disease and floods. 1st he hits you with drought to kill off vegetation that helps hold back the dirt then he nails you with mudslides and flooding. Sounds kind of sadistic to me. Oh well I have my own beleifs in that matter. SJ keep posting there are plenty of ppl here who want you to join in conversation with them!!
     
  8. Random

    Random Well-Known Member


    The way I deal with reality is just get to know it for what it is. It isn't intentionally for you or against you. It's just luck.

    One way deal with this is not to necessarily believe anything but just to hope things work out. If there's nothing you can do to affect a more positive outcome, you did everything you could, right? If things work out, they do. If they don't, whose fault is it? Nobody's really. It sucks but it's not a grand conspiracy. It isn't fair but it isn't supposed to be. We lie to ourselves and tell ourselves things are supposed to be a certain way. It just doesn't work that way and no amount of wishing it were so will make it so.

    Reality isn't cruel (that implies consciousness). It's as indifferent as a stone. Those who have it good in life are just lucky. Those who have it bad tend to feel discriminated against. It's easy to empathize with and understand why but it simply isn't a plot.

    What I'm saying may seem to be more depressing but actually, when you see things for what they are, it can be strangely comforting.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 26, 2008
  9. abyss

    abyss Well-Known Member

    sj, you're my first friend on this forum. i haven't heard from you in a while and i gotta admit, i'm worried about you. i'm really sorry to hear things have been so bad lately. you know you are more then welcome to message me anytime. i'll always get back to you as soon as i get it. i want to help you. i want to be here for you, i always have. even if you can't get any help from above, there are other flawed and broken beings down here with arms outstretched to you. its not devine intervention. its not even that great. but its something and ultimately all we can offer is ourselves and pray its enough.

    maybe there is a God and maybe he lets us burn our hands on the stove to learn. maybe there is a God and he has stopped interacting with our world and is just sitting back to watch it burn now. i really don't know. all i know is that you are real, i am real, and so is everyother person on here hoping you are ok and trying to be here for you. if god won't, let us.

    take care and please be in touch. :arms:
     
  10. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    I'm still here... at least for the time being... nothing has changed since last night except i got a few hours sleep then woke to the same reality.. and preaching family chastising me because i questioned "their" God... anyway i am glad to know a few people here care for me... trying to hold it together and not end things... i fear the next month or so because i know what's coming and i know i wont be able to handle it...

    thank you those of you who cared enough to reply... at least i made it through last night, now i have to get through this one... :sad:
     
  11. abyss

    abyss Well-Known Member

    anything you need that i can offer is yours hun. just let me know how i can help. pm me. or i can hop on msn mssnger and stay up all night with you if thats what it takes to get you through the nite. just let me know, i really want to help you any way i can. take care
     
  12. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I'm glad to hear that you're still with us hun. Never give up hope. :hug:
     
  13. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    im trying anyway... not having an easy time but not giving up... yet.. wanting to believe in miracles again...
     
  14. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Anam Cara,
    Life really sucks!! You get thrown curve balls all the time. I hope you will keep posting so we can help you! There are alot of others here on the forum who have similar problems and are working them out with the help from ppl on the forum.
    I have been suicidal with two attempts for at least 15 years. Before that I don't remember much because I was stoned all the time and drunk! Those years just slipped away and I really screwed up my life. I really hope you get the help you need by being open and maybe trusting us just a little. Take Care!~Joseph~
     
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