Lies. Everything's a lie.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by VioletGirl, Oct 26, 2008.

  1. VioletGirl

    VioletGirl Member

    Okay, so I just found out that one of my closest friends (though not anymore, a good thing I guess) lied to me about so many things.

    She once claimed that her first boyfriend died after being in a coma for three years. She once said that she was raped at the age of 7. She once introduced me to her ex-boyfriend on msn, and told me that he still loves her and lives in Australia.

    Guess what? They were all lies. I can't say for sure that those two "boyfriends" never existed, but her stories have all been dramatised and exaggerated. About how I found out that they were lies.. It was pretty simple. After I stopped being friends with her, this ex-boyfriend called me a bit-- on msn. All I had to do was to ask a close friend (who's a computing-genius) to track his IP address using one of the emails, and turns out that he lives in Central Auckland, New Zealand (where I live) instead of Brisbane, where he claims to live.

    That's only one of the contradictions/proofs, so I'm questioning the existence of those two people. To be honest, I regret investigating into this, 'cause it hurts so much that one of my closest friends would lie to me like that.

    Any help would be appreciated =]

    It just hurts, a lot. I thought I could finally trust people again after what happened 2 years ago, but guess not, she ruined my ability to trust. :unsure:
     
  2. black-dragon

    black-dragon Member

    I know what having lieing friends is like :sad: But it's probably a good thing you found out about it now rather than later.
     
  3. Tecky

    Tecky Well-Known Member

    hmm... this is a tricky situation in my opinion.

    Yes, I will take your words at face value and believe your friend lied to you. But that doesn't necessary have to be such a bad thing. I am not saying lying is alright, but there are people out there (lots) who feel the need to dramatise their lives. They are not malicious or anything like that, they just have this compulsion to exaggerate at times.

    At the shallow end of the pool, we have people who would say 'oh I earn about 3,000 dollars per month' when in fact a little over 2,000 dollars would be a more accurate figure. 99.9% of the human population do that. Trust me. :)

    At the deeper end, we have people like your friend. Perhaps she was touched inappropriately when she was 17, and that turned into 'rape'. You said you traced the ip address of her ex-boyfriend to Auckland instead of Brisbane. hmm... have you considered that this person might have lived in Brisbane at one time and moved to Auckland later on? Also, I would like to point out that was a gross invasion of his privacy. Whatever happened between you and your friend, you shouldn't involve by-standers.

    As for the existence of those two other people (her ex-boyfriends), does it really matter? It could be that her first boyfriend dumped her and hurt her so badly that on a conscious level, she liked to think of him as having died in a coma. Oh maybe her life was so not interesting she felt the need to invent stories.

    Before you judge her, perhaps it would be good if you could ask yourself if her lies ever hurt you? A lie like 'I didn't sleep with your boyfriend' is just not the same as 'My first boyfriend died in a coma'.

    Think about it. People do lie all the time. Especially in this time of economic crisis, I am sure many of us are already lying on our resumes.

    In conclusion, I would like to point out that I am not supporting the act of lying (especially to close friends), but merely pointing out that such things do happen. And that when they do, we will need to look at things within context. Also, please do consider that some people are just so emotionally fragile that they need to make things up (a sort of mental shield) to protect themselves. They don't really want to hurt others but just want to be accepted and/or protect themselves.

    Teck
     
  4. VioletGirl

    VioletGirl Member

    Hey all, thanks for your replies.

    And Teck, I totally understand what you mean. Lying is human nature, but I think lying to an extent like this is just over-the-top. Besides, she has done a lot of other hurtful things and they're listed in another extremely boring and long post lol.. I assumed nobody would want to read such a long story.

    But yeah, thanks for reading and typing up such a long reply! I'm not the revengeful type, so I obviously won't do anything to her. I've finallly decided not to regard her as a friend, and I'm sort of relieved, though hurt at the same time.

    Hope you people are doing okay yourselves :)
     
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    She must have some unmet needs that lead her to lie to get that extra attention. Maybe you should dig deeper and see what those needs may be.