"This pill should help" - said the 10 different doctors before prescribing yet another pill that wont work "Give it some time, i promise things will get better" - said a psychologist, 10 years ago "We want to help you" - said every single social worker i ever met, none of which ever did anything for me "Sports help fighting depression" - there are 1000 different articles and statistics saying that, its a lie "I care about you" - said my father, after kicking me out and forcing me to live on the street, 3 times! "I did everything i possible could to help you" - said my father, without doing ANYTHING EVER for me Fuck this shit, why?! why do i have to keep on fighting?! for fucken what?! for who?! There is NOTHING to this life, NOTHING! People around me, looking at me with admiration, for my determination on training and preparations for my trip to Nepal, they have no idea what the true reason im doing it for. People around me telling me how good looking i am, because im tall, fit, doing extreme sports, riding motorcycles, they have no idea im doing it all because its dangerous, because i risk my life, because i dont want to live any more, and all i do is based on my need for self destruction! Women looking at me, smiling, flirting, yet im 30 and i never EVER had a girl friend! No love, no friends, no family i can trust I want to cry but i cant, because i trained my body to resist it, for all the bulling i went through during high school, i trained my body to hide the pain, because long time ago i promised to myself, i will never ever show weakness Fuck! FUUUUUUCK! FUCK EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING! I WANT TO BURN!