Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by *dilligaf*, Oct 6, 2007.

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  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    If you KNOW someone has been lying to you, stupid, unnecessary lies, would you confront them with it??

    The problem is I know that if I ask her she will continue to lie about it which is gonna make it even more difficult surely??

    But she is lying to me practically every time I talk to her at the moment.

    I think I know why she is lying. Talking from experience (from the last time she got like this) I think I know what is going on. And I REALLY don't like it :(

    Any ideas??
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 6, 2007
  2. Annoyed

    Annoyed Guest

    I personally have been faced with this situation too many times.

    There is no right nor wrong way to deal with it. I've found that the most effective way for me is to trap that person with what they say and call them on any things that don't add up, etc.

    But you could try approaching the subject, explain you know she has been lying, explain thnat you want to help her but can only do it if she tells the truth, if she lies she is only cheating ehrsalf out of genuine support and will turn people againsr her. try to be encouraging about how if she tells the turth then you c\an help whereas now youc an', etc. it's not easy, but it can be done if the perosn you are talking to really wants help.

    you could also try ignoring the lies and only talk when you think she is telling the truth so that she realises she doesn't get attention for the lies, but gor the truth (if she is lying for attention).

    it sucks to be where you are right now, i really feel for you, good luck.
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Hey Annoyed,
    Thanks for your reply.

    Let me explain the situation a bit more.....

    The person I was talking about was my Mum.

    The last time she was being like this I later found out that she was seeing someone-having an affair-at the time my Nan (her Mum) was being diagnosed with Lung Cancer, and I still haven't forgiven her for getting her prioities wrong as I see it.
    She tells me stupid lies...for instance this morning she called me. She said she was at home with a friend from work. Yet she called off her mobile and I could hear traffic and stuff that proves she was outside. Why lie to me in the first place? There was no need for her to call me, or to tell me that she was at home. Why not just go about doing whatever she was doing without telling me?
    Another time she called me and said she was on he bus on the way home from seeing her partner in a care home. I mentioned my aunt-her sister-and my Mum said she was still at work. I knew this was a lie and called my Aunt to prove it. My Aunt told me that she was in a training place in town and that my Mum was with her, but that Mum had just nipped outside to make a phone me.

    Why? Is it so difficult to tell the truth to your daughter??!!

    Any advic?
  4. Annoyed

    Annoyed Guest

    Ah, I see, in which case most of what I wrote before was tripe, lol.

    It sounds like it is burning inside you to find out why she is doing that. Maybe when she calls and says something you feel is a lie, like her telling you she is at home and you hearing traffic, say something like 'oh that's funny, I can hear traffic', or something along those lines. Or you could be outright and ask why she is lying to you, maybe she want you to know she is lying, hence making obvious errors because she wants to tell you the truth but doesn't know how.

    You could try writing her a letter about it, because you could then word things carefully and she could then reply in that form and it might help keep any negative emotions out of the situation.

    It does sound like you need to know for yourself, so try to do what you feel is best.

    Good luck.
  5. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    Its up to you, but perhaps you should confront her
  6. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Annoyed, what you said wasn't tripe...but I knew I needed to explain better :laugh:

    I'm thinking that maybe next time she does it I will say something to her.

    Thanks for your help :hug:

    Thanks Beret :hug:
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