Life apprentely goes on.....

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by lost_child, Jan 17, 2008.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    Several years a guy at work has been calling me a tart, hugging me, and making sexual comments to me, last week it got worse as he started calling me a tease, commented that I was the only person with a rape alarm on mute, told me to come and eat a stick of rock next to him, how he could put my mouth to better uses, and jest to touching my chest..comments went on and on..driving home i heard the sound of a car crash on the motorway, wished it was me, wished it was me that was lying dead in my car. wishing my life was over. I didn't want to go back to work, I didn't want to live. Somehow I managed to fight the urge not to end it, but the thoughts wouldn't ease. the next few days were a blurr..friday i told my counsellor, the session went very deep...left me numb and out of touch with myself. Sunday I was in agony with my stomach, monday I was being ill..tuesday I fell over..wednesday I passed out, being sick, headache...wednesday afternoon I was in hospital.

    It appears I'm exhausted, stressed and have digestive problems...I never knew that it could cause blackouts and cause someone to be unbalanced..but apprentely it can. They saw my arms, and spoke about sending me to oxleas until i told them I was seeing a psychiatrist, psychotherpist and due to see a psychologist on the 7th Feb. I'm trying so hard to get my life back, but it seems that no matter what I do, there's someone there, something always bringing me to my knees and sending me over the edge.

    I try to let go, but reminders stay.
    I try to move on, but people get in my way.
    What more can I do ~ how much more can I do?

    Emotionally, physically I am exhausted and to be honest I'm not sure how much longer I can carry on, fighting and losing..its a battle not to be won.

    I only want an inch, something to show me that I am moving on....but theres nothing.

    I'm sorry this probably makes no sense. I'm confused, and feeling so weak.

    sorry take care all. xx
     
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Lost you need to take some time for yourself. Take time off work. NOW! You have to. Your body is trying to give you a giant warning. It is trying to defend you from the pain the only way it knows how, by shutting down. As for the jerk at work. REPORT HIM! That is sexual harassment. Don't let him get away with it. Don't be afraid to because of how it might make you look to him or others. You have to did it for yourself. It would be a giant step towards getting yourself better too. I'm so sorry that you have to keep going through this stuff. But by reporting him you'd be sending a message to the world...I can't take it anymore and I'm better than all this and I'm doing something about it for ME! I'm certain that by reproting him, you'll show yourself and the rest of the world that you are important! I'm here for you lost.
     
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I'd love to make this gentleman's acquitance :mad: perhaps he would like to meet my friend Woody the cricket bat :mad:

    Itmahanh is absolutely right you need rest and lots of it and this jerk should be reported immediately. However, your health must come first so rest until you feel ready to do battle, then nail his arse.
     
  4. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I reported him to work on Monday, there knew something was up and I told them I was seriously considering leaving, that's when it all came out..and I told them, I haven't told them everything. I can't bring myself to tell them. but they know that I am scared of working in the same office as him, they know I'm scared of what he will do. I've seen how prediators work, and just the look in he's eyes and how he is towards me, and how it started and how it is know...I just don't trust what he will do next. I'm so scared of him. I'm so scared of going out.

    I am off sick today, and tomorrow but then back to work monday, and main office on tuesday to possibly see him again, a day I don't want to happen. in fact I don't want tomorrow to happem

    Terry, i wish I had the guts to do that!!!
     
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Lost,

    You did the right thing to report him. And doing that was 1. smart of you; 2. courageous of you; and 3. something you can pat yourself on the back for. It's a way of standing up for yourself and marking and keeping an important boundary.

    I'm so sorry to hear that all this has been happening. Under the circumstances, no wonder you've had headaches and stomach problems, etc. ANYONE would be stressed to the limit with that kind of thing going on. It's just that much worse when it happens to people who've had prior bad experiences. (I'd love to tell that jerk where to go. Maybe your human resources department will get rid of him.) At any rate, your counselors are supportive and you will find support here at SF, too!

    Hang in there. I'm hoping that the worst of this is now behind you.

    Keep talking as you need to, hun.
     
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Lost Child. You did the right thing by reporting that abusive person at work. Those guys need to know that thier actions have consequences. I hope he gets fired. I'm glad that you're trying really hard to get your life back in order after facing so many sexual predators. Taking a couple of days off was also a good idea to get your strength back. Hang in there hun. I'm sure that things will get better.
     
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