Life as a college dropout is not one I am sure I can take

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by randomguy9, Dec 12, 2011.

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  1. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity

    Well it is another semester where I was driven to the edge by a single class... I can't put myself and my family through this again...

    I can't handle all the blind optamistis telling me eveyrthing will be ok... ask the 10% of the country who is unemployed, the unkown percentage that is under employed... thorw in the lost time that my generation was suspeod to spedn establishing ourselves as professionals that we will never get back thanks to this recession pushing the expierenced into the jobs that we were told would be ours...

    I can't handle mooching off of my family for much longer.. at my age I should be paying my own way through the world.

    I can't handle talking about my lifes shit... I have made more mistakes and failed more in 22 years on this plannet then most people do in a full lifetime... people don't understand what they have never fealt.

    I am joining the ranks of college dropouts and while there are a few great stories odds are that I am screwed... I am not sure I can deal with any job that is avialable for me... that is if there is one at all.
  2. dice

    dice Well-Known Member

    If you have made it into college you are already doing better than most people your age. I know it is tough to struggle through school and deal with trying to get a job but remember this is temporary. Graduating or not you will find a job eventually. The economy is rough now but you shouldn't begin to throw in the towel. I'm sure your family doesn't consider you a mooch and they would not want to see you end your life.
  3. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity

    The only prerequisite to a community college is 18 years of time spent on this planet... i have accomplished nothing.

    My family are all members of the blind optimists club... things won't get better but they refuse to look at the evidence. They will see me as a mooch soon enough... that much is assured.
  4. dice

    dice Well-Known Member

    I'm sure your family loves you either way. They see you as a son. I'm not super optimistic either about the economy and you might have trouble finding a job but the economy is a temporary problem. Like any recession things improve, I got out of college and struggled for over a year to get a job. Many of my friends dropped out and they are all employed but none of them was able to find one quickly. There is still hope out but it will take time.
  5. BeatenDown

    BeatenDown New Member

    I'm 18, dropped out of college last year, started again this year with the intention of a ''fresh start'' what a load of crap that was.. I've been so down in the dumps lately, schools the last thing on my mind. People pretend to understand but really they're just using you to pass the time cos they're bored. At least that's how I see it.
  6. ItsOkayEllijah

    ItsOkayEllijah Well-Known Member

    Same thing happened to me, Hope you're doing better.
  7. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity

    Sucjs to hear im not the only person in this sinking ship... i hope you all have better luck than me
  8. Here_to_help

    Here_to_help New Member

    you all may be on a sinking ship, but none of you are looking for a life 13, one of my closest family members killed himself, it felt like I was his life raft, but i screwed it up, now he is gone and the pain of it is unbearable, and i also had failing grades, that led me to one attempt, but my liferaft had unimaginable power......if you were to belive it, and it set my mind not gonna be one of those idiots who just say they will help this i plan on making a difference
  9. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity

    What life raft are you speaking of?
  10. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity

    Less than 24 hour till my last final... im so freaking scared... i have a good grade in the class but fuck... I don't want to fail...

    Yet i am not sure it matters... im a failure anyway after dropping out and am never going to amount to anything worth being... I am screwed and seem destined to fail.
  11. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity

    This failure is sinking in... I don't know how to deal.
  12. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    Hey if it makes you feel any better I graduated with a Bachelor of science with a minor in zoology and I've worked as a dog groomer and on solar farms (only because I had family contacts). Other than that I can't get a fucking job. Had interviews at retail, funiture and for the city. Nothing. Things in my field I don't even get a call back.

    So don't be down too much about education. It's a complete load of shit anyways because most of the people I now that did really well should never leave a lab because they are fucking idiots. In the real world they wouldn't survive. But following routines and memory work they are all good. Education is not the same as intelligence and none of it can really determine your ability at a career.
  13. isitme87

    isitme87 Member

    Well, probably failing at school isn't the end of the world but it.

    I started to obsess over suicide when I was terrified with the possibility that I won't be supersmart guy with high education. The truth is that as long as you know you 'must' finish school then you at least know what to do in life, but what if it would end with a shameful failure? I mean - what's next? Why to live the life at all
  14. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity

    All I can think about is how fucked up this damn worked is.

    Eli Manning, a worthless egotyistical pice of shit who does not deserve any of the tallent he was blessed with is one win away from living out every mans dream a 2nd time.

    An old bully who is as evil as anyone who has ever waked this plannet has a gf and a career path.

    Everyone I know is on there way to something good in life while mine continues to go to shit.

    I am trying to get up the nerve to apply for jobs but what the fuck is the point when it will only lead to rejection... I need to make good money to distract myself from how bad things are not get stuck on a minimum wage job.
  15. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    you need to start somewhere
  16. painkiller182

    painkiller182 New Member

    I hear ya. I'm 22 and started college when I was 17. Although I didn't drop out, I felt burnt out after 2 years and decided to take a break. Problem is, I'm in my third year taking a break and due to return this september, but since then have become depressed, self-hating, and gained some weight as well.

    Only thing I can say is keep your head up and don't be afraid to rely on your parents. There is no rule which states when a person is supposed to be settled with life - college is a place where you'll eventually have to find what you want to do and it can take a different amount of time to do that depending on the person and situation.
  17. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity

    I have no skills... no natural tallent...

    Im a fucking college dropout because im stupid.

    No one is hireing and the relative I work for is so set in his ways and convinced he is right he is setting me up to be permanatly fucked over while thinking he is doing all the right things.

    All well wahtever god controls this universe continues to bless that worthless piece of shit who pushed me around... a man who is every bit as evil as hitler gets a gf a job all the tallent in the world...

    I can't deal much longer... I need out of this shit and i needed it when i was 18...

    I will not live much longer if i dont get a job.
  18. Student

    Student Member

    Similar position myself.

    University graduate - applied for many, many jobs. Unable to get any, in fact I've being unable to get any interviews - not that there's that many jobs avaliable in the first place in my field.

    I should have studied something else, its my own fault. I feel so worthless.

    Now I'm 22 with lots of debt, living at home, unemployed and unable to get a job. To make it worse, my family doesn't even have much money themselves. I feel so bad that they've sacrificed so much just to get where we are today and here I am sitting, the biggest failure.

    I've also got no friends at all, no one I'm comfortable with talking to - I got some mental issues, although I'm not the type of person to seek help. Social anxiety, OCD, Depression; basically the works.

    Since graduating a few months back I've spent 99% of my time indoors and alone. All I can think about is my mistakes and my regrets in life - teary eyes as I write this even.

    Alas, if I can't find a job to make me feel more worthy than the current "garbage" I consider myself to be, I'll just end it all.. I'm over feeling so shit, making bad decisions and not making any progress in life.
  19. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity

    Every place I look to apply eitehr does not have an opening, does not call back, or has qualifications that I can not meet....

    I am so fucked... I am to old to be starting at the bottom... I am allready screwed out of the good money that I would need to be happy.

    I am giving this a short time... but if I don't have a job that has at least a path to the money i want I will be gone sooner rather than later.
  20. Descendant

    Descendant Account Closed

    This is what makes me not even want to attempt college and yet my dad thinks it's going to turn my life around. Why should I go to college when the people who went to college and graduated are working the same jobs as people who dropped out at 10th grade? All I'm going to do is waste the money I have left on the pompous assholes at these colleges and uni's who want nothing more than to bleed me dry of every cent just to hear stories about their own successful lives while not learning a damn thing myself. The way I look at it it's all a scam.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 24, 2012
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