Life as a constant struggle with little to none rewards

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Summer.Rain, Jun 27, 2015.

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  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    We all know (especially the grown ups) how crappy life can be.
    bad job, shitty boss, low income, loneliness and all sort of new medical problems that come with age...
    In some religions they say that life is just a test, that it suppose to check out limits, to push us towards sin and to check how good we can resist,
    well, im not a religious person, i wish i could believe there is god, and all that is just a test, but i cant...
    Im 30, got a low paying shitty job, with a fucken asshole boss, im single, and living with my parents.
    I hate my life
    I never could get any form of education, i guess at some stage i just sort of gave up, maybe im just too stupid
    I failed with anything that have to do with relations
    I had several suicide attempts but i could never finish it and pulled back on the last minute
    I could never find a reason to fight, to push
    I hate my life, i envy the people around me
    I dont know what to do, im in pain and lost :(
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there,

    You are not stupid, your depression is telling you that lie and making you feel worthless. You did not mention if you are seeking any help for your depression and suicidal thoughts?
    I'm also single and living at home but not bothered by it, I feel safe here and I am going back into education in September, could you go back to education, even night classes would be good for you? Give you that sense of relief you desire.
    Good luck to you and please never give up on yourself.
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