Hi I'm new here and this is a massive step for me I hope it's okay for me to just spill my guts without becoming a regular member first My name is Dani and I'm almost 22 years old. I work I'm the 3rd sector and am an only child. My parents recently parted ways because my mother ran off to Turkey with a Turk. I haven't spoken to her in 5 months because she refuses to talk to me. My father is a complete wreck. I've had to move back home to cook for him and look after him. By doing this I lost my boyfriend as he couldn't cope and I feel like my heart has been ripped to pieces and everything I once knew is gone. As a teen I was a self harmer because of pure self hatred but I managed to stop when I went to uni. I've relapsed in the last 4 weeks and its gotten so bad that I needed medical treatment last week as I went too far. All I can think about is dying. I plan it constantly I wrote many notes and planned my funeral. I am desperate for this pain to end, I just want peace. I'm not sure why I'm here but here I am and that is my story. Thank you for reading.