Life doesn't grab me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kubis8, Sep 19, 2013.

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  1. Kubis8

    Kubis8 New Member

    Okay so I'm 36 and living with my fiancé and her 2 kids. Been together 5 years and she's my rock but I ain't hers... All I do is suck the life out if her, it's always me suffering from this black hole I'm in..... I look at her and feel such love for the way she deals with me and tries her best but we sit in the same room on the same sofa and I wonder what's happened.... I'm empty, just a shell, I hate life. I work, eat well, exercise and have her love.... But..... This life..... It's shit. I hate it. I hate every morning I wake up. I have thoughts that are disgusting.... My doctor asks me to talk but the things in my head are perverse, vicious..... I'm an accident waiting to happen. They should chain me to a wall and throw away the key. I get up each day, style my hair and wear the mask and everybody's fooled like I'm the ultimate good guy..... It's all gonna go wrong...... How do I tell me doctor you better lock me up and quickly
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You take this post give it to your doctor if you cannot tell him or you just say i need help now ok because the deep sadness i am feeling is going to take me away but tell him ok just do it You deserve happiness hun please get the help you need to get it
     
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