They say that before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. Well, my life has been flashing before my eyes. Not quickly, mind you... a memory from my childhood here, an old friend there... my past keeps coming back to me, and this is something that has never happened to me before. I've always tried to forget my past because I was looking forward to a better future. But more and more, I find myself drawn to the past. I think of everywhere I went wrong. I think of how much potential I had. I think of the people I knew, the girls I liked, the opportunities I screwed up. I think of how simple life was when I was young. I think of how I thought my future would be. I realize that if I met my former self, former self would be terribly disappointed. No, disappointed is an understatement. I would be devastated. I'm reliving my past, reliving old hopes and dreams, and no longer looking towards the future, because I don't see any. I know there's probably a perfectly rational explanation for this, but I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm reliving my past because I'm approaching my end. I don't necessarily mean by suicide, either. I get the impression that it doesn't really matter whether I kill myself or not, because I'm going to die soon anyway. I don't have any particular reason to think so, just an eerie feeling that I can't seem to shake. I haven't been to a doctor in about 20 years, so I wouldn't know for sure whether I was dying or not, and to be honest, I don't really want to know. What would I even do with that information? I don't want to know when and how I'm going to die. That's not helpful to me, it will only depress me even more. Anyway, it's okay if nobody responds to this. I'm just kind of thinking out loud here. I don't really know what I expect anyone to say. If someone else has experienced something similar, if this is just a normal part of aging, then that's great. Otherwise, well, I don't know. That's why I posted this in the uncertainty part of the forum. Because it's just something I've been pondering and I don't have any answers.