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Life fucks you up

#1
I have realized that being in a depressive state means staying away from people if you really want to heal. Some say they need people around. That's good for them.
But each time I start to heal someone just fucks me up and I fall again. I don't even see it coming...
At least I have my medicine to help me. If I did not have them right now to numb me. I would be a horrible mess.
 

Anonymous ID

Well-Known Member
#3
It's no good that the people you come across keep fucking you over. I really hope someone comes into your life and helps, giving you the support you deserve. Though it can be hard to trust when you have been let down so many times. Don't lose your faith in people, there are some good ones out there
 

Kolisar

SF Supporter
#5
But each time I start to heal someone just fucks me up and I fall again. I don't even see it coming...
My experience is that is just part of the process. Most of the time it will be "two steps forward, one step back". Some times it is "two steps forwards, five steps back". But you have to keep trying.

As anti-social as I am, I do believe that having the right people in your life is beneficial. It took me far too many years to find the "right" people, and sometimes I thought I had found someone who cared only to be betrayed. This forum has been very helpful and I have met a few good people here, and a number of people who I wish I had never met, basically, the same as life in the "real world".

I hope that you will not need to be numbed by your medications, but I am glad you have them to help you at this time.
 

MosesY

Functioning Alcoholic
SF Supporter
#6
All people will eventually fuck you over. That is just a fact of life. Every one of them. I had to learn to be resilient, not to care; it is because of the way they are, not because of the way I am. Right now I have a good friend, I spend time with him every day. We have 4 people living here in the house and he sincerely hates one of them because of the way my friend is, not because of the way the person is. It is just a matter of time before he feels the same way about me as he does about the other person. Meanwhile I enjoy our friendship, however long it lasts; it is just a matter of time before he hates me. Yesterday I made Christmas dinner and two of my room mates joined us for ham and mashed potatoes with cole slaw and asparagus. The other room mate is vegan and could care less. I know that secretly my room mates were criticizing my cooking and probably told their friends how bad it was afterwards. That is just how people are; they care about noone except themselves. It is just a fact of life that you have to learn to deal with. I do the best I can with what was given to me, I do things for other people, and if they don't like me for that then they can fuck off. I am perfectly fine by myself. I hope you learn to feel the same way.
 

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member
#7
Can't argue with any of that. Most especially can't argue with the title and I really wish I could. Sorry. Hope you get a chance to heal. Good luck.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#8
I have realized that being in a depressive state means staying away from people if you really want to heal. Some say they need people around. That's good for them.
But each time I start to heal someone just fucks me up and I fall again. I don't even see it coming...
At least I have my medicine to help me. If I did not have them right now to numb me. I would be a horrible mess.
I think we often expect too much of other people and because of it, become very disillusioned and depressed when they display the ordinary human weaknesses we all have. I've never known anyone who is completely selfless and faultless, but most people do have some degree of empathy and concern for others, and you can make allowances for human imperfections, while avoiding the more extreme and harmful, abusive, types. You can find good friends without being so dependent that you are devastated when they prove to be human and fail in your expectations of them.

We are social animals with brains that are not wired to be alone. We need to feel connected to something bigger than our own egos to be happy, but I do believe occasional periods of withdrawal can be beneficial to reflect on/adjust our own thinking and expectations regarding our values, desires, and how we relate to others. Numbing yourself with meds isn't the answer, but you might find therapy very helpful esp if you've suffered abuse in the past
 
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Kolisar

SF Supporter
#9
We need to feel connected to something bigger than our own egos to be happy
I agree with @Lara_C . We are, basically, pack animals. I believe this is why we are drawn to religion and other organizations, even forums such as this one. The need to feel part of something; the need for acceptance.

Numbing yourself with meds isn't the answer, but you might find therapy very helpful esp if you've suffered abuse in the past
For what it is worth, my experience has been that medication for depression and other related issued is best used to help clear the mind enough so that talk therapy (either Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or, the one which has worked best for me and my particular issues, Psycho-Dynamic) can provide benefit. At some point, depending on the particular issues and the cause, medications may no longer be needed. (note: I am not a doctor and have no training that in any way qualifies me to make the above statements, they are based solely on my personal experience.)
 

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