Life Is Hard

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lone Ranger, Oct 3, 2011.

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  1. Lone Ranger

    Lone Ranger New Member

    I am depressed. When I am depressed I feel like commiting suicide(lol no surprise). Up till now I have only been able to imagine putting the gun to my head, but this time I was able to imagine pulling the trigger. In my dream I fell to the ground and was alive for a moment. Then the life drained out of me and everything turned black. Nothingness. I am afraid of nothing, nothingness. I don't want to end like that, so much life ahead of me and all wasted. I am afraid that a split second decision will one day end my life. I am also afraid to tell anyone about how I feel. I fear that all of my freedoms that I take for granted as a sane human being will be stripped from me. I really don't want that happening. I am not always depressed, and I spend most of my time fairly satisfied, but I felt like this was a good place to let it all out. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
     
  2. yd4

    yd4 Member

    I also feel like I have a lot of potential that is just being wasted, especially if I was to commit suicide. Life is hard because life is lonely for me. I wish I had someone to share my life with but its near impossible to meet someone who wants to love you back. I try to keep my head up but it's hard to day after day.

    Anyways, you should really not try to commit suicide because like you said it could brand you wrongly for the rest of your life, making it hard to find a job later on in life.
    I wish people wouldn't judge you based upon such decisions made in ones life.

    We all need a second or third chance to be accepted as people by others. People don't know how hard it is to be alone. But you get tired of complaining and just start to accept the loneliness. I still have hope for a better time in my life to come though.

    I guess that's what you should hold onto. Hope.
     
  3. jormungandr

    jormungandr Member

    wow, you have my sentiments pretty much nailed down. with a few key differences. committing suicide isn't something you can do half-assedly, one better follow through with it. that's how i've always felt about the issue. but for me even the word 'hope' seems like a snide remark meant to keep me tormented longer. i refuse to take that kind of abuse any more.
     
  4. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Lone Ranger! Welcome to the forums.
     
  5. Lone Ranger

    Lone Ranger New Member

    Thanks to the people who have posted support so far. I am glad that I was able to discover this forum because I find it quite therapeutic to get some of this stuff off of my chest. I feel really bad coming on here and reading other people's situations because I realize that I have it better than them and am still quite depressed. I find it a mental state that I cannot escape, despite being more fortunate than others on here. Still, once again, I cannot thank y'all enough for the kind welcome to the forum.
     
  6. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    I hear you. I feel more fortunate than some others here at times too, but some states really overwhelm me no matter what I try to distract myself with. :hug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 3, 2011
  7. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    What if you shot yourself and lived to tell about it?? Wouldn't make things much better would it?? It is very possible that if you attempted to act on your thoughts, it may not work.. Just because we attempt, doesn't mean it will work, I'm living proof of that.. All it does, is make matters worse..

    So many people on here so depressed.. Man,, life shouldn't be so freeking hard on people.

    It's good that you realize what a waste it would be if you did such a thing.. Hold on to those thoughts!
     
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