I am depressed. When I am depressed I feel like commiting suicide(lol no surprise). Up till now I have only been able to imagine putting the gun to my head, but this time I was able to imagine pulling the trigger. In my dream I fell to the ground and was alive for a moment. Then the life drained out of me and everything turned black. Nothingness. I am afraid of nothing, nothingness. I don't want to end like that, so much life ahead of me and all wasted. I am afraid that a split second decision will one day end my life. I am also afraid to tell anyone about how I feel. I fear that all of my freedoms that I take for granted as a sane human being will be stripped from me. I really don't want that happening. I am not always depressed, and I spend most of my time fairly satisfied, but I felt like this was a good place to let it all out. Thank you for taking the time to read this.