life is just to hard

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gearsoflife, Jun 6, 2012.

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  1. gearsoflife

    gearsoflife Member

    so you start off at school the outsider, weather my skin was to dark, i was to tall or just talked to much so your parents move you away from your friends and you end up having a pretty dull life untill you leave school and start taking drugs with your friends from, that all breaks down by the time your 18 and you spend the next 2 years wondering around in a paranoid state that is off the charts, so you go to college and start taking drugs that all breaks down obviously and you drop out of college and you go australia like you always planned but hate becuese your coming off the drugs and to deppressed to do anything, you come back to work and get spit on by all and sundry but have to keep workin to pay off gambling debts, you just wanna kill yourself for the next 3 years while you struggle with work and have no social life becuase of the debt; the druggy's who used to be your friends track you down and wont leave your famaly alone so you all move to france, which is a instant hell and u come back after a year on your own to drinking everyday and homeless for 3 years, you stop all this and stay in for a couple of years wishing you was dead every second of the day for 2 years untill you meet somone online but leaves you so you try sort yourself, so you head back to the pub get attacked in the streets walkin home somtimes but you think its worth it so you carry on untill a violent fight leaves you with stiches in your face and you relise you've been broken into then your car gets stolen with papers, so you decide to move wwhich sends you nutz becuase by this time you already have problems which leads to you staying for fear of your safety from new neighbours and not the classy"est of area's, then upto hear sitting on a suicide forum wishing you'd die with everyone else,

    you know you get bullied at school for years, spat on for years at work, get all kinds of abuse thrown at you in the street for years, the 7 or 8 years you spend listening to voices where your face gets so messed up no1 really looks at you like your normal anymore, your impotent by the time your 24 trying to get passed the drug years when you were 18 and had a girlfriend you loved and you just see no end to it, theres no end to it i'm pretty sure some random is just gona break in and butcher me,
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 6, 2012
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm really sorry for what you've been through, and what you're still going through. My PM box is always open if you ever feel like talking.
  3. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    are u finnally off the drugs. and what gambling games did you play? poker
  4. gearsoflife

    gearsoflife Member

    thanks wildcherry

    havent touched drugs in 5 or more years, only stoped drinking end of last summer but i dont crave it or anything; i gamble on football and horse races still
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