I know that everything I've ever loved and lived for in life has been taken away from me. I used to be so happy and vivacious up until a year ago; I was always the life of the party, the one with all the witty one-liners, the one who was 'cooler than cool'. But this past year has just been absolute hell for me. Ever since a certain aspect of my life has been taken away from me, I just don't have the desire to go on anymore. Most of my friends and people who knows me remember me as the lively and energetic guy that I used to be. However, since this one part of my life was taken away from me, I am no longer the same person. I no longer have the confidence or the will to live that I used to. Getting up in the morning is just absolute torture for me. Why should I get up when I have absolutely nothing to live for anymore? This one vital aspect of my life was taken away from me about a year ago and I doubt it's ever coming back. (Maybe I'll elaborate in more detail about what this 'one thing' is when I feel more comfortable on here). I don't go out and socialize anymore and when I do, I need to be ridiculously drunk or high all the time. I cry every day, pining for the life that I used to have, that I know I can no longer have. I feel like nobody understands me because they haven't walked a mile in my shoes. I've tried to kill myself a few times this year. Mainly by overdosing on pills, once on anti-depressants and a couple of times on Unisom sleeping pills. I don't have the balls to jump off a bridge or put a gun to my head. I've prayed to God many times to just end my pain and suffering and kill me already. Anyway, I'm new to this board so if anyone else needs to talk on here, I'm here for them as well.