Life is not worth the pain anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sui caedere, Feb 24, 2009.

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  1. sui caedere

    sui caedere Well-Known Member

    i am here again typing away in truth i dont know why.
    For the last few weeks The old nightmears are back and stronger then last times,
    the voices are back and loader.

    My sleeping is getting worse my body is allways in pain from being so tied my brain is so slow i miss simple things.

    And i know deep down i dont think i can make it this time.
    i ask myself all the time do i want to die and i think of my family and say no
    but i know i mean yes.

    What i mean is i do and i dont want to kill myself but if i do die in my sleep that be great then i wake up thr next day crying as i have to face the pain all over again.

    I know the way my mind works and i know one day i ask myself do i want to die and it be yes i have played this game a few times over the years and each time it gets harder to win harder to find ways to keep living.

    if the nightmares and voices are any thing like last time i know that one day i just give in.

    I mybe a man and ment to be strong but i can not take this pain and hurt much longer.
    I am finding it harder to keep my temper amd my eating is all over the place some times i dont eat then i dont stop eating my drinking of coffee and smoking has gone up so much one of my friends at work pulled my up to ask me if i was feeling ok and was i having any more problems And if i show anysigns about suicide he call the police.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm back just after a recent attempt hun. I know the feelings and thoughts you are battling. Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone and I hope that being here and being able to share your thoughts helps you fight your demons atleast a little. Cuz I'll tell you letting them win is even worse Hell. And yeah being a man most of the world expects you to be strong. But here you can be exactly what you are.... a human being that is exhausted and looking for some comfort from others that know your pain. Keep posting and let us help you when you just havent got the strength to keep fighting on your own.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Shane,
    Have you ever been diagnosed with any kind of mental health problems?? It's nothing to be ashamed about.. I have been diagnosed with six different problems and am on meds for all of them..
    You can take comfort in knowing that you can come here and find comfort and support..All the members here suffer with different problems so I am sure you will find similarities. We are here for you so don't be afraid to talk to us...
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