hello, here is my story for the last couple of months i've been betrayed by the one I loved the most, humiliated and embarrassed, althought she has no idea i know about it. I didn't confront her, gave her a chance to come clean, to tell me the truth for once, but noooo. She still lied. I began working again monday 2. My birthday was the 7th, i was doing an afternoon shift that day. So, i invited over a few friends friday night (including the betrayer, she's supposed to be my best friend,would have seemed weird had i not invited her). Anyway, we slept real late, which wasn't a big deal since i wasn't due to work until 1h30pm. At 9am, I got a phone call which woken me and the friend i was sleeping next to. It was my boss, telling me to come asap cos my timetable had changed (without anyone telling me about it) and i was supposed to begin work at 8am (an hour earlier). She told me the girls were in deep shit, couldn't do the work in time, really needed me to get there asap... I broke down. I totally broke down. Something inside me broke, i don't know how else to say it, next thing i knew i was sitting on the floor, my "so-called best friend" curled up beside me, trying to calm me down. Full blown panic attack. Just can't go to work anymore. I needed this job to pay for the school i applied for in september. I blew it up. I blew up the last chance i had to get a normal life. I screwed up, can't get over it. I attempted to kill myself twice since. i have a meeting with a psychiatrist tomorrow, he'll probably prescribe me some heavy medication, i'll take it all at once and DIE. i just wanna die. can't live with myself anymore; I hate myself too much.