I spent my whole life trying to get well, to feel good, to find a meaning and there is none. When i finally give in and kill myself because i can no longer cope with this pain, people might cry, some will probably judge me and call me weak. People ask you to go on and to not give up but what for? It doesn't matter in the end, go on for what? To get deeper in hell and suffer more every day? People are born in a poor country, struggle to get food, some have it all given to them and live an happy life and and reckless persons. It is all unfair and the only meaning to life is the one we give. Well i choose to end my endless suffering because there is no one that makes this hell worth living for, there is nothing that makes this worthwhile and perhaps there is a cure out there for me but god is doing everything in its power to prevent me from ever getting access to it. So when I kill myself my only wish is to not reincarnate in a deeper mess.