Life is the same for the past 12 years My name is Michael, I'm currently 17 years old and I'm a senior in high school. I felt like my life is the same for the past 12 years and every year gets worse and worse. Since I was 5 years old I was a happy child with a bright and pure heart, I loved everything. I was awarded the gummy bear award because I was a friendly caring person that cared for people and loves helping, and being friendly to everyone. After the age of 5 I started getting bullied. I was physically and verbally attacked. I didn't know why people would pick on me. I tried to ignore throughout the 12 years. I only have 5 close friends, but I rarely talk to them because of my insecurity, depression, and anxiety. On my freshmen year of high school I was... Well still attending a private school, a religious school, which is a private christian school in my city called Gainesville. I thought I was going be fine, until there was more people picking on me, I couldn't deal with it I tried to ignore it as I couldn't deal with it anymore, on that year I tried to attempt to kill myself as I failed. In my sophomore year it was the same so as my junior year as well. This year is my senior year, and I'm still dealing with depression for the past 3 years. I felt like life isn't worth living anymore last month and I'm still think about it again. I felt like I'm just tired of living a life where i'm getting physically and verbally attacked. During school I would fake my expressions and my moods, I would fake smile and try to force myself to laugh. People would ask me if I'm okay, I would say yes, but I'm not okay. As my family told me I only have a couple of months and I'll be graduating soon I soon thought of moving out of Florida or somewhere far far away from Gainesville. The fact that one of the reasons why I'm getting bullied is because I have the feminine voice, and I'm also gay. I felt like if tried to change I couldn't. It was hard to change my voice or who I liked. During my first day of being a senior I thought it was going be perfect! This is going be a good year, until this guy that actually I don't like. His name is Bryan, as he is the former head coach of the gator basketball son. I felt like he has power over me since his dad is a head coach for the basketball team of UF. And if I tried to stand up I wouldn't have the chance. Anyway during my sophomore year in lab class he asked me why my voice sounds like a girl or a gay person would sound, and if I was gay I was going to hell. And I didn't even know this person, neither did he. At this point when he came back to this school, and which this my last year being here I felt like I'm just done. I don't want to live anymore, I've been suffering for the past 12 years of people picking on me and verbally and physically attacking me that I felt like as for bryan picking on me everyday, mocking how I talk or act reminds me all those bad memories of me getting bullied from the past. I have no clue what to do at this point. I felt like I lost hope not just because of this bryan guy. I just feel like I've been living in a life where only a small percentage of my life is good and the rest is bad. I felt like I'm suffering, and I'll keep suffering until I'm done. I still have thoughts that I don't belong in this world. But I need your advice, what should I do?