Life is to much

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Bythetimeyoureadthis, Dec 30, 2014.

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  1. Yesterday I was yet again beaten black and blue by my partner kicking and punching me to my head face and body while holding our 1 year old son if that wasn't enough the police was called by our neighbour and I was told if I didn't sit in the spare room and not talk to my partner I would be arrested how does that work so I find this site I have know one to turn Toño family no friends my partner has made sure of that so I've been told to be out the house this morning the day Devore New Years eve and 15 days to my 40th birthday can't see the point in going on anymore just want to be dead thanks for listening oh by the way I'm male and it took a lot to write this
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there,

    Domestic Violence is never okay. It can and will destroy you if you don't seek some outside help. Can you clarify if you a male or female? Why do you have to be out of the house, I am a bit confused and why did the police say that? Why would they want you arrest you, you are the victim in this? I feel so bad for you and hope you are okay.
  3. I'm male and my partners name is the only name on the tenancy the police told me I would be arrested be accuse she lied
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Damn. Seems like this woman has made your life hell. I know it is easy for me to say this but perhaps leaving is the best option. You do not deserve any of that abuse. I have been in an abusive relationship, not physically but verbally was enough to make me leave. I don't know what country you are in, what kind of help is there for victims of domestic violence?
  5. I'm in the uk and as far as I'm aware there isn't any help as every time this happens the police don't believe that a male can be a victim of dv
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Well that is not very reassuring, I hate when they think men can't be victims of DV or rape etc... It's very sexist and just downright wrong!

    What do you plan on doing? I'm pretty sure thee still IS some support out there for you.
  7. The local council won't house me as I don't have needs eg baby female or foreign the best thing I can do is <mod edit - methods> I need rid of this hurt I sitting in the corner of a bedroom silent incase I wake my partner she has locked the front door soi cannot get out so I'm stuck here until my son wakes death is my only option
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 30, 2014
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Okay, is there any hostels for victims of DV? I can't understand how much harder it must be for a man but at least you are talking here, your son needs you, you just need to get away from her and try and rebuild your life. Father's have a right to see their children (just saying for the future), I wish I knew more about the help available to DV victims. There should be some info online at least, please do not harm yourself :(
  9. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    I am sorry this is happening to you - I suspect it is very hard to get the police to believe you, especially when it is the neighbour reporting issues/incidents and not yourself. You need to take yourself to the police station and tell them you want to make a statement and get your story firmly on the record - and do this each and every time she so much as threatens/yells. This is the only way you have to record a pattern of abuse.

    There is help in the UK for you - there is a national helpline number here for men suffering violence and abuse in the UK. Give them a call and talk to them. Ask for help.

    I hope you choose to leave the relationship. I understand you are afraid of being homeless, and no I do not suppose the council will house you, but there are other places to look for accommodation. Get on some house sharing websites and start looking for rooms. Even if you cannot afford a place on your own due to LHA etc, you will be able to afford a room. The best thing you can do for yourself is to get out.

    Take care and stay safe,
  10. Each time it happens I report and each time they turn up again they believe her got to god shes here
  11. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering from your partner. DV is not nice and you need support. I'm glad you found this site as we can give you emotional support. You need to remain calm for your son's sake and do NOT act on your feelings. Please take Freya's advice as it will help you. You suffer everyday but you are still here which is important. Keep posting for support. Take Care.
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