life is too hard and confusing

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sadness2006, Aug 12, 2006.

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  1. sadness2006

    sadness2006 Member

    I'm a 22 year old man, I have been depressed my entire life. I feel like life is just not worth it, I can get the girls I want with ease, I don't have many enemies, I have a lot of friends, my family supports me pretty much, and looking at me you would think I have it all. I just don't see the point in getting up every morning, I feel like just living my life and breathing is a full time job, I have to act like i'm someone i'm not when others are around me, and it never ends, I never get a vacation, I have to do it 24/7, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Sleep is my only escape, it's the only thing I look forward to, I don't have to pretend to be someone i'm not when i'm sleeping, I don't think of painful things when i'm sleeping. It's not like i'm going to do anything great with my life, i'm not going to find a cure for anything, or invent anything, so if I go it won't really have a great affect on the world... I have never been to the doctors for my depression, I feel like what's the point of living if the only way I can do so is through pills that make me happy, it's a false happiness. I'm not to the point yet where I have said to myself that I will commit suicide, and I have not set a date or anything. I know you guys will say, think of your family and friends, they will miss you, but how can they miss me when they don't know me, how can anyone know me? I don't even know myself. I look at people with no arms and no legs and they are happy with what they have and to be alive, but i'm in perfect physical health and I want nothing more for this all to end. I don't know, I know my family and friends would be extremely sad if I did this, but why should I live my life for other people, it's not their life, it's my life....Blah, comments, suggestions?
     
  2. me_

    me_ Guest

    Hey there!
    I don't have any suggestions, I am in a slightly similar situation...
    No idea how to overpass this state, no idea if it is possible at all.
    Sorry, i know this reply was useless lol
    Take care.
     
  3. sadness2006

    sadness2006 Member

    It wasn't useless, i'm glad you posted it. I just feel like my life hits rock bottom....then I stop being depressed for a while, then it just hits rock bottom again, i'm getting tired of the cycle.
     
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    hi and glad you decided to post how you feel...have you sought any support for your depression? I know that both treatment and medication sometimes feel intrusive to ppl, but I am LIVING proof of their effectiveness...I was one pill away from my exit when i found this forum and today I have many friends here, and very giving friends and support (psychotherapist, psychiatrist) in real life...please know that you deserve a place in the world that is less encumbered, and if i can be of any help to you, please PM me...big hugs, and be safe, Jackie
     
  5. me_

    me_ Guest

    I can relate to that. I am tired of it too... :hug:
     
  6. VALIS

    VALIS Well-Known Member

    the point of medication is to help you enjoy life. i struggle with the same thing, worrying that if i need drugs why bother living? plus one of my best friends shot himself 3 months ago for the same reason. but here is why: you hate life now and feel that no one understands you. so what is wrong with giving meds a shot? i went from not getting out of bed except for 3 hours a day because the depression was so bad (for 5 months!) to getting up after 8 hrs of sleep every day. depression is a terrible disease that is life-threatening. give meds a chance because you have nothing to lose at this point. you might as well have false happiness than no happiness, and how do you know that you wouldn't want to live if you felt better? false/real doesn't matter, it's your conviction to get thru it. IMHO.
     
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