Life is too much

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mordeci, Oct 17, 2010.

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  1. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    I don't see anyway I will ever be happy. For the first time in weeks I actually did the right thing and concetrated on my school work and realized that I will never get caught up in time for finals in December, my familiy dosen't really talk to me, I have no real friends, I will never be able to live a normal happy life. Their is little reason for me to live and honestly I am just tired of going through the motions.
     
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I think that things could be a lot better for you than you think. It sounds like there are some negative messages in your head that you have really reinforced. But really, does anyone really know what the future holds? How do you know that you will never be able to live a happy life?

    I think that there are people who have thought exactly the way that you have but who have been able to overcome their problems and who have found life to be something positive and worthwhile!!!!

    I think that you can turn things around for yourself. What are you doing now to deal with your depression? Any treatments, therapy?

    If you are overwhelmed with work, could you drop a class?
     
  3. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    No i have been in therpay and on medication, good medication, for three years, and the program is very strict their is no droping a class, its graduate school, they really don't let you do that, I actually was in school in 08 for the same thing law school, but had to drop out because my depression and anxiety got so bad, I just started school again in september but I fell into the same patterns of not doing my work, I am trying to catch it early but it looks like it is too litle too late and this was my last shot.
     
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    if things don't work out with law school, it might be a blessing in disguise. I think that you said on another thread that you don't want to be in law school anyway.

    Also, I've heard of people getting law degrees and then not passing the bar. Or worse, they practice law, but have to sell their souls in order to pay back their school loans.

    I snooped around your previous posts, hope you don't mind. It looks like you are in Boston. I used to do a practice called "sun do" that was helpful to me. I don't do it anymore, but I think that they have classes in Somerville. Some other kind of meditation or yoga class might help too.

    The New England School of Acupuncture in Watertown has a student clinic which is pretty cheap. I would recommend acupuncture and chinese herbal medicine. chinese herbal medicine is not handled well by students though, usuaully, so maybe skip that part.

    I've heard good things about electro-convulsive therapy, but don't know for sure. A show on PBS said that it was supposed to be the best treatement for severe and moderate depression.

    For me, dietary changes have helped a lot with anxiety. Avoiding processed food and eating fresh, cooked, whole food served warm, nothing cold.

    I hope that you feel better!
     
  5. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    Yeah I have had my doubts about law school (I havent made any final decession though) problem is I need to get my GPA up if I am to apply to another school, I tried dietery changes and stuff like that, it hasen't really helped. Oddly enough my current therpist dosen't believe I have depression just extremly bad anxiety with depression as a symptom so ECT was out of the question. My problems aren't bad compertively just my coping skills, I am trying to do everything right, but I still think I need to end it all.
     
  6. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member


    Try some meditation then? Meditation with a breathing practice can help quite a bit.
     
  7. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    oh, and the acupuncture too. Also, a 1/2 hour of gentle aerobic activity (just enough to break the slightest sweat) per day can help. Please try something! It's worthwhile to keep trying stuff.
     
  8. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    You seem nice but I am tired of trying, I have been trying things since I was twelve. I think to myself every morning what will it take for me to never wake up again, and I think I found my answer, and very soon I am going to try it.
     
  9. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    I really hate myself, I don't know what else I can do their is nothing I can do to salvage my life, at this point.
     
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