life is what you make it- agree or disagree. why?

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by emily83, Aug 10, 2013.

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  1. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    i'm sure all of us at 1 stage have heard the phrase... your life is what you make it, life is choice, that kind of thing... well what do you think of that statement?. do you agree or disagree?

    i tend to largely disagree.. especially in the mentally ill situation- their are many factors... finding the right meds, finding motivation, etc- just because you might have a clear idea of where you want to go in life, does not mean you can do it... their are things that get in the way- or maybe you don't even know... you don't choose to think like that, that's just the way it is

    then their's also upbringing to think about- if parents were controlling, wouldn't let you do stuff for yourself, abusive... the list goes on

    what do you think about these sort of statements
  2. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Life is a challenge for the majority of people whether in depression or not - so to get a perspective of just people who have depression is skewed more towards disagreeing with that statement.

    But those who get more out of their time alive tend to be the ones who do more with what they can/have and less time ranting and raving about what they don't/can't. Something I've noticed anyway.

    Also, as another factor in to the choices side of things - who else is going to live our lives for us if we don't?
  3. Prof.Bruttenholm

    Prof.Bruttenholm Well-Known Member

    Life doesn't matter.
  4. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Some things change depending on perception, some things don't. The truth is one of those things that are constant and don't change, but how each sentient being interprets it affects how that truth is experienced. So it logically follows that the experience and value of life truly is what each individual makes of it. I think whether each has the capabilities required to have a different interpretation, is a different question entirely.
  5. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Even in a state of mental illness, life is still what you make of it when you really think about it. Coping is a skill essential to not just those who suffer mental disorders, but also to people who have diseases, crippled, blind, deaf, etc. People who have no money, or people who have a lot of money but still cannot find happiness. In the end, the ability to cope is what you make of it and that is not to say that you can totally control your future, or that you can control the results of your actions, but the ability to cope with any situation is what I believe is really meant by the saying that "life is what you make of it." The unfortunate part of that saying is that many take it too literally and think that it means that you can totally control your destiny. That is not what it means at all.

    Try saying it like this instead and it make make more sense: "You life success or the potential to progress toward success and happiness is dependent upon how you learn to cope with all the good and all the bad." The statement, even in it's original format, never states that you have absolute control over fixing all your problems... but it implies that you control how you deal with what life throws at you. I don't think anyone really can say they have it worse than anyone else, because many times the outcome of life or happiness is hinged upon how we cope with things that happen, things we cause, things we don't cause, and things we either learn or don't learn from.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2013
  6. Ima.robot

    Ima.robot Senior Member

    I tend to agree with that statement more than disagree. Even people with mental illness have to want to get better and try to make a change to do so. Even if you have mental problems, if you keep doing the same thing you should expect the same results. I am not saying some people dont need meds and all, but I dont think nearly as many people need them compared to how many people actually use them. For me I think my depression is because I havent done enough passionate thing with my time or even done enough career wise yet. Circumstantial stuff. Where I might disagree is people who have severe learning disabilitys like autism and such. I agree with what fightingthetide said about people who get more out of life spend less time ranting about whats wrong, but that can admittedly be a hard thing to do I know it is for me but I am trying to change.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2013
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I pretty much agree that life is what you make it, I know if I had the motivation and got off my ass to do what I wanted in life, then I'd be satisfied and content. I have the potential, but I just can't seem to reach it. Depression has taken a lot away from me, but I can try to gain back what I lost.
  8. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    I think there is always something you can do to improve your life. It's up to you if you do it or not. Yes there are things out of your control (like mental illness and diseases and tragidies) but it's how you cope with them is the difference. It's how you roll with the punches.
  9. Prof.Bruttenholm

    Prof.Bruttenholm Well-Known Member

    Life doesn't matter.
  10. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    I tend to agree to a point. Obviously when outside factors are continously assaulting your ability to gain a personal foothold in your life in anyregard, then sometimes it's extreamly difficult to take control of your life. But even in those points we can take control. Slaves and others of similar situation can take control if they've been overpowered, but the end consequence can be an end to their life, or a subjection to extreame torture and scaring.

    But that's for people who are imprisioned by other people. People that are constantly tortured or held back by mental and physical handicapps still can. It just takes time for people to get their head around what's happening to them so they can understand how to endure through it. From a very simplistic point of view, life is largly inpart to what you do.

    Generally though, there is never anything that can permenantly hold you down and suppress who you are. You're always capable, and if something is getting in your way you are capable of dealing with that, or finding ways to dealing with it. Doesn't mean it's easy though, sometimes people don't believe or feel that they can in any shape or form. Doesn't mean they can't, sometimes they just need time to themselves or a degree of help.
  11. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    Simple answer Yes... complex answer yes and no...

    Yes Life is what we make it, no matter our differences we all have the capability to achieve any single one of our dreams, no matter where we are from. The only obstacle in our way is our own fears and phobias.

    however sometimes those fears can get in the way.. prevent us from achieving what we want to achieve, sometimes they can be so great we lose focus of what we want and need. Depression and mental illness can cloud us on what we can achieve and what we want to achieve. Our self esteem limits what we will go out and do because through fears of not being adequate, so yes while life is what we make of it... to an extent.

    None of us asked for mental health illness or disability... and its the symptoms or side effects that change our lives (through our own inability - can be a variety of reasons- to do what we want)
  12. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Great lives, where are they? Ah, yes, the rich have them.
  13. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Money is not the instant cure for unhappiness. If so, then explain suicide of the wealthy........
  14. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Yes and no "life is what we make it".

    We certainly influence our own outcomes in some ways. We get stuck if we don't try at all. However, I think it is important understand that life presents "different" challenges for people with physical and mental health issues than for people without them. Also, as much as money is not the answer to problems, it makes life more comfortable (mentally and physically) we don't have financial worries.

    Mental illness can affect people of any social level. Money and material things don't solve mental health issues. However, those who cannot afford to get help, meds, or even live well are going to struggle more and have additional health and living issues (e.g., dental problems, poor general health, inadequate housing, lack of food) to deal with...Coping is easier to do when we have fewer problems in the day-to-day struggle simply to get by in life.

    Yes, everyone has struggles, and some have it much worse than others. And certainly everyone needs to develop coping skills. Not everyone is raised in a family that supports and teaches the child self-esteem and coping skills. It is definitely possible (and even essential) to pick these up at some point, even later in life if that's when we do it, but it's harder if a person has not learned them from family/caregivers at a young age - they're fighting the past and things they've possibly believed since they were children.

    Mental illness in and of itself can interfere with how well the brain works. It takes longer for a "sick" brain to cope and for new ideas and behaviors to become part of the person's thinking and way of being.

    So, yes, we can do much just via a positive attitude to make life better and successful. But it's more than just thinking we can do something...There's a lot to be said for having proper support and enough resources to help us...especially when we're struggling.
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