In fact maybe it never was. It’s my senior year. I wanted to have a good year. I signed up for the English academic track team. I love English it’s my best subject and I was really excited. But can I something good ever happen to me? Fuck no! First off a lot of people signed up to be on the team I was pretty sure I would get a spot because people who have read the most things on the reading list get a spot on the team. I’ve read most of the books, plays, and other shit. I’m the most read and I know it. I would have gotten on the team but then my mom tells me I can’t because the day the competition is is the same day I have to go to the fucking college to register for classes and there’s no way I can change it. At this fucking rate I will never amount of anything. I don’t know why I’m even going to this fucking college it’s a piece of shit. I found out that I have to take the stupid entrance English exam because my GPA isn’t high enough. So even though I have taken two college English classes as dual enrollment and got A’s none of that shit counts. Nothing I do ever fucking counts for any thing. I’m so fucking pissed I can’t even explain half of the shit going on so this probably makes no fucking sense. Why can’t I ever fucking win? Why can’t I ever fucking shine? It’s never me. I never succeed. I always somehow miss the fucking point. Like with the stupid scholarships. For all of the scholarships you have to have a certain GPA I’m one fucking point off so I don’t even qualify for them. I hate myself. I’m never good enough I never succeed and never will. I’m never really happy and I will never find one damn thing about me that I like. I cut myself up and I don’t care anymore. I’m done with trying to stop. I always fucking fail that too. I don’t want to be here any more I’m so sick of it. I fucking want to be done with this life.