Life isn’t worth it anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Twisted Sweet Lies, Mar 18, 2008.

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  1. Twisted Sweet Lies

    Twisted Sweet Lies Well-Known Member

    In fact maybe it never was.

    It’s my senior year. I wanted to have a good year. I signed up for the English academic track team. I love English it’s my best subject and I was really excited. But can I something good ever happen to me? Fuck no! First off a lot of people signed up to be on the team I was pretty sure I would get a spot because people who have read the most things on the reading list get a spot on the team. I’ve read most of the books, plays, and other shit. I’m the most read and I know it. I would have gotten on the team but then my mom tells me I can’t because the day the competition is is the same day I have to go to the fucking college to register for classes and there’s no way I can change it. At this fucking rate I will never amount of anything. I don’t know why I’m even going to this fucking college it’s a piece of shit. I found out that I have to take the stupid entrance English exam because my GPA isn’t high enough. So even though I have taken two college English classes as dual enrollment and got A’s none of that shit counts. Nothing I do ever fucking counts for any thing. I’m so fucking pissed I can’t even explain half of the shit going on so this probably makes no fucking sense.

    Why can’t I ever fucking win? Why can’t I ever fucking shine? It’s never me. I never succeed. I always somehow miss the fucking point. Like with the stupid scholarships. For all of the scholarships you have to have a certain GPA I’m one fucking point off so I don’t even qualify for them. I hate myself. I’m never good enough I never succeed and never will. I’m never really happy and I will never find one damn thing about me that I like.

    I cut myself up and I don’t care anymore. I’m done with trying to stop. I always fucking fail that too.

    I don’t want to be here any more I’m so sick of it. I fucking want to be done with this life.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Sorry you are feeling so poorly and wish I could say more than sending my caring and hope it will become your turn real quickly...big hugs, J
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Students that do not shine as brightly in high school sometimes shine at the next level. You can prove yourself at the college level and still qualify for some of these things at a later date. Your time will come if you work hard enough and really want it. Don't give up. :hug:
  4. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    It sucks to feel like a failure. :hug:

    School can really suck sometimes. I'm a junior and things can really be unfair.
  5. A Self Made Loser

    A Self Made Loser Active Member

    Yeah I can relate to that, no matter how hard I try studying, no matter how far I'm ahead of the rest of the class or how determine I am in revising for exams, I always get the lowest marks, work comes back to me all wrong, never get noticed for efforts then a couple of loud mouth shit heads roll in to classes when they can be bothered, stoned out their faces and get the top grades, praise and success time and time again.

    Its all so easy for people where everything comes so easy to them to turn around and say "Chin up, it will be all ok in the end" I understand positive thinking but life is no feel good movie and when a person has been stepped on enough they goner finally break.

    Life has no doubt always always been difficult regardless of what centuary humans have existed. I guess some of us were just destined for sadness and failure. Although there are some people perhaps like yourself who can defy it if you believe you can but there are some like myself who will never get out the dark pit and just have to look up at all the smiling faces of our friends who excel with little effort on their part and are in love with life.

    Life is bullshit filled with suffering and lies. God I wish I could hang myself but I havent got the guts. Shame I dont have a gun!
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