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Life isn't made to be enjoyed

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by randominternetdude64, Apr 1, 2014.

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  1. randominternetdude64

    randominternetdude64 Banned Member

    One thing that's interesting is that many depressed people will say "MY life sucks", "MY situation is stressful" or "I suck at life"; they apply ownership. I've always caught myself saying "life sucks". Another observation I've made is that many depressed people include envy in their reason to be depressed, "I wish I was (blank)", "I wish I had (blank)"; be it confident, happy or loved. I find myself not seeking something someone else has, but drifting perpetually with no aim.
    I have come to the conclusion that life itself sucks and that's just the way life is. I hate working, but who doesnt? Studies have shown the majority of people hate thier jobs. I spend a third of my day doing something I hate in order to live. Now a simple solution would be to do something you enjoy and the day to day endless soul sucking slavery will go away, problem is there is nothing I can do that I enjoy and makes money. There is no job that i can enjoy doing. Some have found a balance, hobbies and activities to do in their spare time while working to live. That to me is a terrible trade, youre trading equal time in misery for time in leasure. The time traded is not even equal, youre so drained from your job that you cant enjoy your hobby; there are even times you have to stop the hobby and drag yourself to work. I know it sounds like "wa wa lazy crybaby crap" and I need to "suck it up becasue thats how life is and you have to just deal with it". In fact I dont, there is another option; I can always just opt out of life.
    Life cannot be happy, you can only successfuly distract yourself until you die. They say money doesnt buy happiness, bulls***, it buys you distractions and freedom from working; thats as close as it gets. I give up on life, its not precious or unique. If life was SOOOO precious then why do we waste so much time doing things we dont enjoy? If our time is such a sacred resource then why do we give it away to companies and people who care less if we disapeared? I consider taking the shortcut in life, or best case scenario ill just do the socially acceptible thing and commit suicide by living to death.
    Life isn't designed for to enjoy, it's designed for us to produce. Every possible realistic outcome includes wasting most of my days doing things I don't want to do. They say suicide is a perminent fix to a temporary problem, to me it seems a perminent fix to a consistant problem.
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    Welcome to SF :) I understand your point of view and even agree with it to some extent. However I do not believe/agree that a job has to be something you hate or even that it is very rare for it to be something you enjoy. I have been (up to this point in my life) a Bakery Worker, a Sales Sssistant, an HR/Operations Manager, a High School Teacher and a Digital Marketing Executive. I have enjoyed and been satisfied by all of these jobs in one way or another. There are certainly days I wish I did not have to work - but having also been out of work for two years in the not too distant past I can assure you I would rather be working, whatever the job, than not. (I spent half of this time on full pay so it was not a lack of money that was causing my issue when not working).

    Working may take up a lot of time and if you genuinely hate your job then you should absolutely make every effort to find something else. But just because I do not "love" my job does not mean I don't find it valuable and satisfying - challenge is a good thing.

    No, life is not designed to be 'happy' - sustained happiness is not a possible thing in my opinion and I agree that the goal 'to be happy' is a futile one. But that does not mean there is less value in the happy times that there are, as well as the okay times, the challenging times, the stimulating times, the exciting times... there are lots of other feelings and emotions happening in the times that do not involve 'happy' and they do not all have to be negative.

    I am sorry that you feel so unhappy and have 'given up on life' - I personally am working on what I describe as altering the ratio. Not working toward happy as much as working to alter the percentages on the emotions I do feel so that the majority of them are not negative. Its taking a lot of hard work and it is slow progress. Perhaps you could start that way? If you hate your job and it is making you so miserable, make it a goal to find one that you feel okay with. Even if you cannot actively enjoy it, you can find something that does not make you actively miserable?

    Take care and stay safe :hug:
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I do agree with you, rid64 on the superficial level, and can follow your reasoning. However, the trick with life is to look a little deeper for the gold and diamonds that are not on the surface of things, you need to dig for them if you want to find them. Joy is different from happiness, because happiness depends upon your circumstances, and these can look miserable superficially and make us despondent. Joy has a different hue to it. Tons more I could say, but if your interest has been piqued, please feel free to PM (or here....) :)
  4. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    If you truly get no pleasure or satisfaction at all from doing anything productive so totally devalue work in all cases, and say it is a waste of your time to get to the small pleasures then I would wonder how throwing away all of that time by dying , and also to throw away the small pleasures in between is better. In the worst case scenario you paint it as 1/3 rd of time wasted it still seems a poor trade to throw away 2/3rd of your potential life to avoid the 1/3rd you find to be devoid of any possibility of satisfaction.
  5. BB_dunb

    BB_dunb Member

  6. randominternetdude64

    randominternetdude64 Banned Member

    1/3rd doing something you hate in order to live for the other third. I don't count the third of sleep as positive or negative. It's a waste to spend so much of your "precious" life doing something you don't enjoy. I even believe it's not a fair split of 2/3rds, so much of that first despised chunk interferes with the leisure portion. Work takes all your energy to where you cannot fully involve yourself in your hobby. Your entire life revolves around working; Tyler Durden had it wrong, you ARE your job. I know there's no avoiding it, it's just part of life.
    I'm going to make a game. Now this game has many rules, the rules are unfair and bias. Some people will just start with an advantage, nothing you can do about it but they will likely win just based on how the game randomly started for them. In this game you spend most of the time doing tedious things you will most likely not enjoy, you then may get a chance to play a part of the game that is enjoyable or at least distracting enough to be entertaining. Some rules can be broken and when broken some players will be rewarded while others are punished. I don't want to play this game, it's not that good. If I was playing a game like this one I would quit. It's shocking to me that some still continue playing.
    There is no job I can even imagine enjoying. BEST case scenario I can have a fraction of life by enjoyable, if there was even anything I enjoyed doing. I only have hobbies and leasure activities in effort to distract me. I do them to kill time more than for enjoyment. Assume I have enjoyable hobby I can hopefully distract myself until I die naturally, I'd only be skipping idle time wasting and labor.
  7. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    r.i.d.64 - Hey, I guess we could all play games like this one - it is all a question of how you see the Monopoly board I guess. People like me (English version) are born on the Old Kent Road and the chances of buying a fleet of hotels on Mayfair are totally out of the question - maybe I could settle for the light blue's just before the prison....no matter how I roll the dice I cannot see me any better off than that........ UNLESS I give myself a truth-talk and realise that, well, at the end of the day, the woman with the most toys/houses still dies and...... it all goes back in the box.

    However, it's the passing Go each round that gives me the hope that we can start again, and provision is made to carry us on the journey........ maybe a positive card from Chance or Community Chest will improve our lot........ meanwhile our attitude comes to realise that a tiny, tiny percentage of the population ever get a look at Mayfair anyway (and then you have to dodge that TaxMan, lol!!)

    Hope you don't think I've made light of what is a serious problem for you, just that I thought the analogy worth the posting :)
  8. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    There are a raft of answers to your 'Why?" question here, but first a précis of your position: you have decided that the game of life isn't enjoyable, and assume that the board you've been on is the only one. That assumption is false, although you might find it hard to believe at the moment. You're playing a game you don't enjoy and resent having to keep playing it (of course, a natural human reaction to the predicament). But, there is another 'game' - a way of seeing life and a way of living life, that you've probably not explored because of some tunnel vision here. The board you're playing and your response to it has dug grooves in your mind to the extent that you can see no other alternative other than your plan of escape off your board.

    The next assumption you make is that the only reason to keep playing is because everyone else wants you to. This puts everyone else into the "rats on a treadmill" experiment, where we're all going around in circles wondering what it's all about. This is not the only reason to keep playing - the real reason is to discover the real self which is within each person, and which happens to be the piece of the jig-saw puzzle that's been mysteriously missing every time you open the box. Some people are well able to go through life never discovering this other 'game' and are perfectly happy and content with that, but you (and I) and millions of others aren't and transfer their energies into a different mode.

    Yes, I'm talking figurative language here, but it's only a beginning type of analogy to explain the opportunity for the alternative, which is very much the other reason I can tell you're really searching for, wondering if it really does exist. Have to go now,......please take care :)
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