As far as I can remember I've been deeply depressed and suicidal. Being an outcast as a young teen is where it all started and spread. The self hatred, loneliness, misery, mental anguish, worthlessness and depression has permeated my being and I'm completely consumed by it. I am doomed and there is no way out. This is a life sentence and I just can't bear it any longer. It keeps piling up and it's too much.