Life long misery is not worth it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lymeinside, Jan 17, 2009.

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  1. lymeinside

    lymeinside Well-Known Member

    As far as I can remember I've been deeply depressed and suicidal. Being an outcast as a young teen is where it all started and spread. The self hatred, loneliness, misery, mental anguish, worthlessness and depression has permeated my being and I'm completely consumed by it. I am doomed and there is no way out. This is a life sentence and I just can't bear it any longer. It keeps piling up and it's too much.
  2. Geffi

    Geffi Member

    :hug: I know your pain, been at the excact state of mind myself. I'm starting too get out of it, and so can you. Remember your a unique person, there's only 1 of you in this world, you have a special place here, only for you. You still got much time left here, time too meet new friends and form special bonds. :) You already got lots of us here in this forum, we're here for you in both sad and happy times. Don't give up just yet, please, give yourself a new chance.
    I know its hard, and most people don't understand how hard it is too look up and forward, when you'r down like this. But you can do it! :)
    Give life a second chance :hug: I really want too see you around here in the future :) Its not your time just yet :hug:
  3. pensive1981

    pensive1981 Well-Known Member

    Turning things around and reframing your view of yourself isn't an easy thing to do, but I hope you go for it and stick around. Good to have you here...
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Lymeinside,

    Are you on any medication for your depression?
    Do you see a therapist? If not, it's probably best that you contact your doctor.
    There is help, but only if you ask for it. Don't give up hope.

    I'm always here if you need someone to talk to :arms:
  5. lymeinside

    lymeinside Well-Known Member

    thanks for the replies, I appreciate them. No I don't take any medication or go to a therapist. I know I probably need to but I can't afford anything because I am unemployed due to my depression and mental issues.

    It is just sad. I was reading my posts here from over 2 years ago and I almost said the exact same things. I've been depressed longer than that but it's just hard reading and realizing nothing has changed since I was first here. It's even gotten a lot worse, I've been through some terrible experiences in those 2 years. I thought it was unbearable back then but it's much worse now..... I'm scared. I've developed self destructive behavior since then. The depression is much worse. The loneliness is much worse. I just don't know how much I can take. Back then I had hope but I really don't anymore. Losing hope is so scary. I truly do not believe it can get better. I am so profoundly unhappy and I don't even know what happiness feels like.

    It made me sad reading old PMs because people did reach out to me. I feel so bad. None of them come here anymore and I wonder what happened to them. I just stopped coming here and never responded again. :(

    I need help but I don't know where to find it.
  6. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    I don't know where you live, most places have therapists who will see folks on a sliding scale or even for free from some social services. Look for help - it does work with time... You need to put this as a priority and give yourself the gift of some one who will listen and help - to be there steadily for you.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Limeyinside,
    Depression sucks!! It lifts it's ugly head and grabs ahold of you and keeps telling you lies. You have to try to hang onto any positive thoughts that might pop in your head dailey. As long as you have positives in your life there is always hope.
    Have you tried to get financial aid or medicaid to help pay for therapy and meds? A good therapist can help you to learn how to live all over again. And then you also have us. We are here for you!!
    As far as making friends that will come with time. You have to get yourself stable first and start thinking on a positive plain. People can pick up on how you are feeling and if you are negative all the time they will tend to back away. I really hope you check into getting help rather than harming yourself. Take Care My Friend!!~Joseph~
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