life of a borderline

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Heideho, Sep 7, 2012.

  1. Heideho

    Heideho New Member

    I want to love you and yell at you all at the same time. I am an alcoholic, bulimic, athelethe, can you see how this doesn't work? My inner termoil is brought to you be the letter F that's right I am a mother of two and failing miserably. The only thing that lacks is the intense anger I feel but have learned to keep it inside at all costs. Tonight I have laughed a belly busting laugh and cut myself to the point of stitches. I am scared of myself and the lack opf impluse control. Read this I dare you because I NEED your approval but fucking hate you if you disagree. I should be euthanized trust me it is for the better.... I have the perfect life but disregard all its beauty by the infinite sadness and emptiness I feel inside
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Heide...this sound so awful and chaotic...I hope you pursued some resources to assist you...and know we are here to listen and support do deserve that...fondly
  3. JigsawJohn

    JigsawJohn Well-Known Member

    I know what you mean, those constant switches between polar opposites, never knowing what you're gonna do or where you'll end up next. If it helps at all, I'm on your side.