Life on Earth

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by #LoneyBrUCe, Apr 21, 2008.

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  1. #LoneyBrUCe

    #LoneyBrUCe Guest

    The thing I like about this site is that I can remain anonymous and not feel guilty or selfish about how I express myself, so here goes..

    My life isnt that bad I guess, I can safely say Ive seen travelled a lot more than the majority of people will do in a lifetime, I was born into a wealthy family, and had a healthy bubbly upbringing.
    I mean Ive been to a ton of places throughout Earth, Ive had lots of little conversations and funnys, learnt a shed loads of stuff, and I have a caring, if slightly dysfunctional set of friends and family.
    In short people could say Ive had it pretty damn good so far.

    But then why am I so fucked off all the fucking time and want to kill myself?

    Well I can safely say in my eighteen years that Ive fallen short of my own expectations, I dropped out of my first year of college for getting waay too high and for stealing college supplies to fund my friday night binges for beer and weed.
    A new college awaited for me then, quite the distance away from my small circle of friends, and when I was seperated from them, I come to the realisation that I find it very difficult to communicate with the opposite sex, I cant even seem to keep a straight face around a girl and I get crazily embarrassed around them sometimes, and cannot for the life of me maintain eye contact.
    Well after two years of generally being a reclusive trying to work out whats wrong with myself, I came out underachieving in my A levels being a grade short for my animation course at Bournmouth University where I needed three B grades.
    So i contemplated my life over these two years at my new college, realised im a social retard and that no girl will ever love me, and that Im a lazy underachiver whos fallen short on the mark with his education.
    Over these two years I discovered that my Dads cheating with other men, my mother is unbenknown to any of this and the guilt is killing me.
    My Dad isnt aware im the know-hoo anyway, I steal off him to punish him I think.
    And my Dogs dead, and I cant be fucked I miss my fucking dog.
    Whats wrong with being pro suicide, people are dying all the time its the way of life.
    Without death Life has no meaning.
    I used to enjoy being loopy, but I feel like im slowy becoming a burden to others and that life feels like a strain that I dont deserve.
  2. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Have you thought about confronting your Dad? Maybe tell him that he has 1 week to tell your Mom what's going on or you'll tell her yourself. It's not safe for him to be sleeping with other men and possibly bringing home all kinds of nasty stuff home to your Mom.

    As far as the rest of it goes, you are very young and lots of people your age become disillusioned with life for a time. Try setting very specific goals for yourself and pinpoint exactly what you need to do to achieve them. The girl thing should eventually work itself out. Many people feel awkward around people, especially the opposite sex at your age. Once you start feeling better about where you are going in life, the self-confidence will come and your social life should improve.

    Best of luck.
  3. weegee

    weegee Active Member

    animation course and that avatar? humm i can think of one good reaon not to do it, i love that series.

    but seriously. depresion is all the same it dosent matter about your curcimstances.

    and why shouls you give up on life? just beacuse it gets though, right now your young and no matter what you think, when you leave school/uni/college you will be abit unstable for a bit(fiding a homand job) but once you have the basics everything becomes better. wouldent it be good to see what thats like(thats how i feel), so live.

    now about your dad. its a though one, if you confromt him im not sure that you should tell him to tell your mum as it could make things worse for you(divorce is never pretty) maybe you should just tke him a few leaflets and tell him to get checked for the usual.

    whens the next brakon wood comeing out :tongue:
  4. Xian

    Xian Well-Known Member

    suicide is by no means a natural death, every human has the instinct desire to survive even in terrible circumstances. your true self has this desire and if your demented self ends your life, you are denying your true self its life as well.
    we all have regrets, we could all probably write books on them. but it won't change things. what will is determination, work and patience.
  5. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    suicide is by no means a natural death,

    What constitute a natural death? Is dying of Cancer a natural death? Is being blown out at the twin towers is a natural death?

    Assuming it is not so what? There are people who asks in their will DNR. While people can make a decision to put their death into their hands free of coercion of depression or other illness or pressure from the society is perfectly alright.

    Stigmatization of suicide is another burden that add more strain to the discomfort of depression.
  6. #LoneyBrUCe

    #LoneyBrUCe Guest

    As human beings born into nature we have many options in life, one being to commit suicide, It is completely natural.

    The whole science/nature thing confuses me, when did things stop becoming an act of nature?
  7. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    I think suicide is natural... anything else would be supernatural, neh? Personally, I don't see any demons in me so I guess this is my natural me-ness... Tennis racket guy just has a weird definition. Anyway, If you want to die and think it's your natural right to do so, then maybe you should ask 'why do you want to live?' That will help you make a decision. Decisions are good.
  8. Xian

    Xian Well-Known Member

    its not natural because you don't want to do it which is why you're here at all. we all have the natural instinct to survive and to go against that of course will always be abnormal...
  9. Xian

    Xian Well-Known Member

    idk maybe its just me but i would not want to live in a world where suicide is not a stigma. a lot of you are so sick you can't even tell how fucked up that idea actually is.

    well its tough to judge but thats what you have to do, i think getting too far from the way homo sapiens evolved to be is "unnatural" and of course you have to decide what/when that line is.
  10. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    How can it not be natural if a member of every race gender culture religion and age group have done it before (I heard about a 5 year old suicide once terrible but true :( )? But the real point is, the same can be said about war! Anyone like war? Mostly no. Anyone think it's unnatural? (sadly) mostly no! So there, I didn't mean that it's GOOD, just natural. And about the stigma thing, suicide is a well established fact of life, like homosexuality! Somehow attaching prejudice to such a common, varied and complex activity as suicide just seems like a bad idea. Because it won't help anyone will it? No I haven't heard of 5yo warfare but I think we've established that they know what death is. Jeez now i wanna cry :(...
  11. Death is natural. Suicide is a form of death.
  12. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Life on earth, or life in hell, you meant?

  13. I meant what I wrote.
  14. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    The question was for the OP, but OK, it can be for everyone here. :)

  15. okies
  16. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    And I know you are always writing what you are thinking, thats why I like you. Because you are not wearing a mask.
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