Life on Earth

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by #LoneyBrUCe, Apr 21, 2008.

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  1. #LoneyBrUCe

    #LoneyBrUCe Guest

    The thing I like about this site is that I can remain anonymous and not feel guilty or selfish about how I express myself, so here goes..

    My life isnt that bad I guess, I can safely say Ive seen travelled a lot more than the majority of people will do in a lifetime, I was born into a wealthy family, and had a healthy bubbly upbringing.
    I mean Ive been to a ton of places throughout Earth, Ive had lots of little conversations and funnys, learnt a shed loads of stuff, and I have a caring, if slightly dysfunctional set of friends and family.
    In short people could say Ive had it pretty good so far.

    But then why am I so fucked off all the fucking time and want to kill myself?

    Well I can safely say in my eighteen years that Ive fallen short of my own expectations, I dropped out of my first year of college for getting waay too high and for stealing college supplies to fund my friday night binges for beer and weed.
    A new college awaited for me then, quite the distance away from my small circle of friends, and when I was seperated from them, I come to the realisation that I find it very difficult to communicate with the opposite sex, I cant even seem to keep a straight face around a girl and I get crazily embarrassed around them sometimes.
    Well after two years of generally being a reclusive trying to work out whats wrong with myself, I came out underachieving in my A levels being a grade short for my animation course at Bournmouth University where I needed three B grades.
    So i contemplated my life over these two years at my new college, realised im a social retard and that no girl will ever love me, and that Im a lazy underachiver whos fallen short on the mark with his education.
    Over these two years I discovered that my Dads cheating with other men, my mother is unbenknown to any of this and the guilt is killing me.
    My Dad doesnt know I know either.
    And my Dogs dead, and I cant be fucked I miss my fucking dog.
    Whats wrong with being pro suicide, people are dying all the time its the way of life.
    Without death Life has no meaning.
  2. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    its a tough moment and i guess you´re just growing up. Kids often has good scores at school and feel lost once they´´re in college, and if youare not sure about what you´re studing you probably will fail. But this is not so bad, Drinking beer and taking weed its a part of most of the teenagers, some keep taking drugs and become alcoholic and some just let that Old life in past. About the dog...Of course you will miss your dog, it surely was with you since you were a young kid and spent more time with you than (may be) any other living being, and its good to cry and miss him. About your father, i think you should talk to him, or let him know somehow that you know what´s going on, not in a sarcastic way like making some comment at the dinner, but saying something when u both are alone.
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