Life over 50

WaterUnder

Transient SF'er on hiatus
SF Supporter
"You made it! You survived six or more decades! And it was all worth it, because now you get to pay 50 cents less!" *stars
Another good one: getting excited about things like decorative kitchen storage containers. When I first noticed it, I was like, "WTH is happening to me?? Oh, yeah. I'm old."
Lol. I'm not 60. . . yet. Alas, HumExMa, I do not share your passion for decorative kitchen storage containers, but have developed an abnormal affection for The Dollar Store. Hey, do you wanna go to The Dollar Store? Everything is only a DOLLAR!
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
Hello SF Seniors

Been over a year since last post here. I thought I would be healed and safe now. I am not. I have not killed myself because of fear of failure. Ironic that a person that caused a good percentage of my trauma suffers from depression and reportedly overdosed once. I thought how unempathetic they are do drive me to the edge and not help when they very easily could. I wonder now if lying about their past. I cannot imagine anyone that attempted suicide would be so callous and drive someone to suicide. This is not a safe world. How can I survive alone? I have a pro bono therapist. Any form of support is at churches and that was traumatic for me. It led to my ongoing crisis of faith. I can medicate but still no connection with people. Not at work or in community when I went looking. Everyone I talk to here has at least one connection and or faith. I don’t know what is left to do. Illness is overwhelming.
 

Winslow

My Toughest Problem Has Been Solved.
SF Supporter
@Waves
Sorry about your despair. Since this thread is about those over 50, I should say that I am even over 60, yet I nowadays want to stay alive. Well, at least for 3 years more. I don't want to die yet, but at the same time I don't want to live until too old. After my Mother passed away this past April, I'm now the only surviving person in my family, yet I have to live for at least 3 years more, because I have a wondrous gift that I want to get the most mileage out of, before I pass away. So at least 3 years more of life would be fine. But if my finances and health remain manageable, I would like to live even beyond those 3 years.
The fact that we are in the 50s and 60s brings with it the realization that our health keeps worsening each year. Once one reaches 50, the general health declines, and that's a fact. It is Unavoidable because that's what Old age is about. Back in the day, for one to die in the 40s was normal. But medical advances have prolonged life to the point where we age to an Abnormally long length. Why do I say abnormal? Well, because so many aged people develop Dimentia where they cannot function by themselves, and so need full-time 24/7 care, because their Dimentia renders totally helpless. This is what I fear---a state of Dimentia that would leave me a mental vegetable. People tell me don't worry until the time comes. But when the time comes, it'll be too late. Because I'll be a mental vegetable by then.
Having said all that, though, I do Not think of suicide. I'm NOT suicidal. It might help you if you hear what keeps me going. You see, when my Christian prayers did Not get answered, it was at that point that Buddhism saved me. What hurts me about Christianity is that it teaches that newborn babies that die at birth go straight to Heaven. So I used to pray to God to ask how come myself and many others have to suffer whereas those babies go to Heaven without suffering at all. But God never answered, and so that made me even more suicidal. It was at that point that Buddhism saved me because it teaches me that I'm responsible for my own Emotions. And it teaches practical techniques such as Meditation to enable this emotion-control.
Don't get me wrong--there are good things about Christianity. But its teaching about babies going to Heaven without having to suffer even one minute whereas you and me have to suffer a whole life time--it's that Christianity that actually made suicidal feelings even worse. That's why I turned to Buddhism which teaches the practical action of mastering emotions. Hopefully this will be of some help to you.
 
@Waves I will be 50 in 2 years and one thing I have noticed about my 40s is the increasing isolation. It's something that I don't know how to improve, especially given how this year has been. I do have work - but I work with all males you are in their late 20s so there isn't really a connection there, but there is routine. I am sorry I can't be of more help is giving some answers but wanted to say that you are not alone in feeling this way *grouphug2
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Hello SF Seniors

Been over a year since last post here. I thought I would be healed and safe now. I am not. I have not killed myself because of fear of failure. Ironic that a person that caused a good percentage of my trauma suffers from depression and reportedly overdosed once. I thought how unempathetic they are do drive me to the edge and not help when they very easily could. I wonder now if lying about their past. I cannot imagine anyone that attempted suicide would be so callous and drive someone to suicide. This is not a safe world. How can I survive alone? I have a pro bono therapist. Any form of support is at churches and that was traumatic for me. It led to my ongoing crisis of faith. I can medicate but still no connection with people. Not at work or in community when I went looking. Everyone I talk to here has at least one connection and or faith. I don’t know what is left to do. Illness is overwhelming.
any serious illness either physical or emotional is overwhelming. as for your faith maybe you can reconnect with it. i have had times that i lost or questioned my faith. for now i accept it but when i die i want answers lol. you have friends here that you can talk to. please feel free to use my inbox to talk anytime you want to, i understand a lot of what you're going through...mike....*hug*shake
 

FFurry

SF Supporter
I'll be asking for those answers too, Mike!
Same here. Nowadays science seems to have all the answers and faith is considered as a quaint relic. In technology, there's even a new stigma against those with faith.

Nonetheless, while science is good at describing the world, it can't seem to explain how it came to be or what the true fundamental essence of anything is. It doesn't help at all with trying to find any sort of comfort or security in this life.
 
I used to believe in science - I still do, to an extent. But my cynicism about it's use has made me avoid it more. However, it has left me realising that I have a gaping hole in my life which I wish was filled with 'faith'. In my younger days my closest friends were ones who had a strong faith (from all religions - it was beautifully eclectic!) and I was able to participate in some meaningful times with them. I miss that.
 

Winslow

My Toughest Problem Has Been Solved.
SF Supporter
In my younger days my closest friends were ones who had a strong faith (from all religions - it was beautifully eclectic!) and I was able to participate in some meaningful times with them. I miss that.
Yes, definitely,I agree, Eclecticism is good because it means to benefit from Multiple religions. In other words, I notice that many here suffer from a Crisis of Faith where their religion does not help them at all. So I've found that the solution is to explore Other faiths as well. That's what I've done and it solved my problems. Because I nowadays practice both Christianity and Buddhism. And it solved my Major problems. So don't be bound and confined to a Single religion.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
@Waves I will be 50 in 2 years and one thing I have noticed about my 40s is the increasing isolation. It's something that I don't know how to improve, especially given how this year has been. I do have work - but I work with all males you are in their late 20s so there isn't really a connection there, but there is routine. I am sorry I can't be of more help is giving some answers but wanted to say that you are not alone in feeling this way *grouphug2
Thank you. Oh yes workplace is major source of support and bullying. I was lucky. Now not with regard to work. I think aging is factor. Or else I really kissed off the wrong spirits.
 

Lane

SF Pro
SF Supporter
Hello SF Seniors

Been over a year since last post here. I thought I would be healed and safe now. I am not. I have not killed myself because of fear of failure. Ironic that a person that caused a good percentage of my trauma suffers from depression and reportedly overdosed once. I thought how unempathetic they are do drive me to the edge and not help when they very easily could. I wonder now if lying about their past. I cannot imagine anyone that attempted suicide would be so callous and drive someone to suicide. This is not a safe world. How can I survive alone? I have a pro bono therapist. Any form of support is at churches and that was traumatic for me. It led to my ongoing crisis of faith. I can medicate but still no connection with people. Not at work or in community when I went looking. Everyone I talk to here has at least one connection and or faith. I don’t know what is left to do. Illness is overwhelming.
Hi there @Waves. I read your post with much interest. Thank you for posting a d such honesty. I think it's interesting about the person that caused you such angst. That they should know better being suicidal themselves. My sister has attempted a couple if times and is so selfish too. I found out upon my mothers recent death. I still love her, my sister that is.

When I came to the forum I was so alone. And many times before that I'm surprised to look back and amazed that I made it through without taking my own life. My own children have said that I shouldn't have a gun in the house, I guess they picked up on the weekends in bed or anytime I wasnt working, in bed. I wasted years. I'm atheist so I have no faith to rely on, although I find myself praising sometimes now the gift if a new day. And how magically my life has worked, is it my perseverance, others may think its God's work. It could be, I'm only a lowly human.

I'm glad that you're here and others 50 and over. I used to fear how I'd end up. Now I almost dont care. I've lived enough. I still dont like the feeling of being depressed or unstable while I'm here though! I'm really glad you posted this for the 50+ gang.
 

FFurry

SF Supporter
I can also understand the over 50 bit. I will be 57 soon and admit that I always felt, wasted life, someone else should have had my time on Earth compared with how well I did with the time, almost nothing to show for it and wishing I had not existed at all.
I often wish my life could have been given to someone who wants it. There are many terminal cancer patients and others whose time is short. They often bring up the point about not appreciating life until there's little of it left. It would be dark irony if a terminal condition made me or anyone else start to appreciate life. As it stands, it's a burden I wish I could offload without the usual consequences.
 

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