@Waves
Sorry about your despair. Since this thread is about those over 50, I should say that I am even over 60, yet I nowadays want to stay alive. Well, at least for 3 years more. I don't want to die yet, but at the same time I don't want to live until too old. After my Mother passed away this past April, I'm now the only surviving person in my family, yet I have to live for at least 3 years more, because I have a wondrous gift that I want to get the most mileage out of, before I pass away. So at least 3 years more of life would be fine. But if my finances and health remain manageable, I would like to live even beyond those 3 years.
The fact that we are in the 50s and 60s brings with it the realization that our health keeps worsening each year. Once one reaches 50, the general health declines, and that's a fact. It is Unavoidable because that's what Old age is about. Back in the day, for one to die in the 40s was normal. But medical advances have prolonged life to the point where we age to an Abnormally long length. Why do I say abnormal? Well, because so many aged people develop Dimentia where they cannot function by themselves, and so need full-time 24/7 care, because their Dimentia renders totally helpless. This is what I fear---a state of Dimentia that would leave me a mental vegetable. People tell me don't worry until the time comes. But when the time comes, it'll be too late. Because I'll be a mental vegetable by then.
Having said all that, though, I do Not think of suicide. I'm NOT suicidal. It might help you if you hear what keeps me going. You see, when my Christian prayers did Not get answered, it was at that point that Buddhism saved me. What hurts me about Christianity is that it teaches that newborn babies that die at birth go straight to Heaven. So I used to pray to God to ask how come myself and many others have to suffer whereas those babies go to Heaven without suffering at all. But God never answered, and so that made me even more suicidal. It was at that point that Buddhism saved me because it teaches me that I'm responsible for my own Emotions. And it teaches practical techniques such as Meditation to enable this emotion-control.
Don't get me wrong--there are good things about Christianity. But its teaching about babies going to Heaven without having to suffer even one minute whereas you and me have to suffer a whole life time--it's that Christianity that actually made suicidal feelings even worse. That's why I turned to Buddhism which teaches the practical action of mastering emotions. Hopefully this will be of some help to you.