I think a lot about the days when I didn't have a moments rest raising my children all babies at the same time, wishing for a moment's peace. Now my days are too quiet and lonely. I see divorced friends that marry and jump into relationships so quickly and then there's me, spending too time alone. My youngest now has a boyfriend, is a senior, and has a job she likes. My friends used to be the moms of my children or the girls at the clubs I used to work in. Now i just feel alone at 51.
I'm turning 50 this year, and it's been sort of intense. I'm having a "mid-life" crises and I think it's ruined my marriage. I feel alone all the time, even though i have a good husband. But I keep looking for something else, and that's gotten me into trouble. I feel lost.
I don't make enough to survive on my own either. So, that's really scary. Also, covid has destroyed my life in that I'm now just stuck at home with someone I don't always feel that close to. I wonder if leaving him would be a mistake, and I feel too old to strike out on my own, but I do think about it an awful lot. It's hard. Life is mundane, and a struggle, and for a long time I have wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again.
I don't make enough to survive on my own either. So, that's really scary. Also, covid has destroyed my life in that I'm now just stuck at home with someone I don't always feel that close to. I wonder if leaving him would be a mistake, and I feel too old to strike out on my own, but I do think about it an awful lot. It's hard. Life is mundane, and a struggle, and for a long time I have wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again.
life does get harder as we get older. and by 50 most people that have kids are alone by 50. and marriages do change over time. the most important thing is to communicate and try to work together to make your golden years happy. our marriage took a hit when our kids left home. it's called empty nest syndrome. after spending our lives on the kids we found out we had little to talk about. now our marriage is stronger than ever. it doesn't matter if it's kids career or anything else marriages always change. but you both deserve to be happy and i hope you can find a way to enjoy your golden years together.
mike...
mike...
life does get harder as we get older. and by 50 most people that have kids are alone by 50. and marriages do change over time. the most important thing is to communicate and try to work together to make your golden years happy. our marriage took a hit when our kids left home. it's called empty nest syndrome. after spending our lives on the kids we found out we had little to talk about. now our marriage is stronger than ever. it doesn't matter if it's kids career or anything else marriages always change. but you both deserve to be happy and i hope you can find a way to enjoy your golden years together.
mike...
mike...
marriage counseling is great if both partners want to make their marriage better. i have a very good marriage but even we suffered from empty nest syndrome but that was years ago. my wife and i didn't have problems so much as we didn't know how to live without our kids. it was a huge adjustment but now we love the privacy of just the two of us. except once in a while my wife says she wants a baby, which at my age terrifies me lol.
mike...
mike...
It's not in me to do marriage counseling for a number of reasons, so I don't see it getting better. I've made some mistakes in my life, and the reason we've failed is all on me. I don't know if I'm punishing myself but I've turned down marriage counseling and don't think it's in my future.
We don't have children. That's the one saving grace. I'm not equipped for that.
We don't have children. That's the one saving grace. I'm not equipped for that.
That's sad. Why use children as pawns? This struck me. Extra 
s to your dad @BraveFace.
s to your dad @BraveFace.
yes, I’ll be 50 this year and like you.... how, where did the years go. The only reason I keep going is my father told me he left me money for when he dies. He realizes being alone is harder n me and he feels he needs to provide for me. My sibling is married, two kids and a nice home. So, if I can make it to 68, I should be ok. But tomorrow is not promised to anyone and I have an irrational fear of dying in a car crash.
@Waves @SillyOldBear @BraveFace @1964dodge @LonelyHiker @Lady Wolfshead @betteroffunknown @Acy @mpk @doingbadly @cymbele
I'm 35 [feel free to skip from here]
It hurts me that you feel unappreciated. You have no idea how cool you all actually are. Even if you feel you didn't do much with your life, it's still more than the rest of us have done, and I appreciate you. I just went through the whole thread and I admire so much your "no bullshit" mentality, your struggles with health, it all comes with a steam of "I know what's important" and in the end, you guys know it much better than any of us.
So if you feel unappreciated here I'm clapping for you 👏👏👏, seriously.
My grandfather was my hero and unfortunately he didn't live enough, I remember and treasure every moment with him. He too was cast aside and people tried to tell me how my grandfather was a "cruel man who did horrible things when he was young", he bought me a few bottles of soda and for me that was enough. He died 63 years old.
It's a shame to have to scrape money to pay for health care, but I think SilyOldBear nailed it when she said it takes only one illness to consume all your money. You tried to plan, you did your best, but the old age has it's unexpected problems. My grandmother thought she would shortly follow grandfather but she missed it by a quite long distance... she's reaching close to 90.
You know, there is no way to tell... I actually think my grandfather died young. And grandmother missed her estimation by 27 years... that's a life.
I think the only way you guys are not appreciated more is because you spend too much time at home, perhaps feeling bad about yourselves. Not everyone thinks like I do, and some are too busy to stop and listen, but I always enjoy talking to elderly and I think it's a welcoming sight to see them socializing in the main square in front of the lottery store.
I read your posts with great interest as I do not plan to have kids and I'll probably end like some of you, alone. I think this doesn't need to look sad. Hopefully, I'll know better by then.
Keep posting, and I wish you all good health and good luck.
I'm 35 [feel free to skip from here]
It hurts me that you feel unappreciated. You have no idea how cool you all actually are. Even if you feel you didn't do much with your life, it's still more than the rest of us have done, and I appreciate you. I just went through the whole thread and I admire so much your "no bullshit" mentality, your struggles with health, it all comes with a steam of "I know what's important" and in the end, you guys know it much better than any of us.
So if you feel unappreciated here I'm clapping for you 👏👏👏, seriously.
My grandfather was my hero and unfortunately he didn't live enough, I remember and treasure every moment with him. He too was cast aside and people tried to tell me how my grandfather was a "cruel man who did horrible things when he was young", he bought me a few bottles of soda and for me that was enough. He died 63 years old.
It's a shame to have to scrape money to pay for health care, but I think SilyOldBear nailed it when she said it takes only one illness to consume all your money. You tried to plan, you did your best, but the old age has it's unexpected problems. My grandmother thought she would shortly follow grandfather but she missed it by a quite long distance... she's reaching close to 90.
You know, there is no way to tell... I actually think my grandfather died young. And grandmother missed her estimation by 27 years... that's a life.
I think the only way you guys are not appreciated more is because you spend too much time at home, perhaps feeling bad about yourselves. Not everyone thinks like I do, and some are too busy to stop and listen, but I always enjoy talking to elderly and I think it's a welcoming sight to see them socializing in the main square in front of the lottery store.
I read your posts with great interest as I do not plan to have kids and I'll probably end like some of you, alone. I think this doesn't need to look sad. Hopefully, I'll know better by then.
Keep posting, and I wish you all good health and good luck.