Life over 50

[LonelyHiker]

So I had the scope this morning. The gastroenterologist found one benign polyp, which he removed. I get the pathology report in a week. Other than that, he said everything looked good. I should be happy/relieved, but I'm not.

What's causing all these symptoms then? I still don't feel right. I am seeing the PCP on Tuesday, maybe I need to get screened for other problems.

Well, at least I ruled out colon cancer..

 

[Vanquished]

So I had the scope this morning. The gastroenterologist found one benign polyp, which he removed. I get the pathology report in a week. Other than that, he said everything looked good. I should be happy/relieved, but I'm not.

What's causing all these symptoms then? I still don't feel right. I am seeing the PCP on Tuesday, maybe I need to get screened for other problems.

Well, at least I ruled out colon cancer..

I feel for you! I'm in the same damn boat. I'm so sorry you're going thru this, too!

I saw my doc today. It wasn't a scheduled appt, but I have pain in my left kidney area and in front near the stomach so I dropped into her office this morning. The pain has been happening 2 and 3 days.

My doc thinks the kidney area is muscular, but I'm not as confident about that as she is. (Usually this kind and level of muscular pain resolves in a day or two max. This is going on 4 days.) We know it's not an infection.

And I have to have a cat scan Wed to determine if the pain in front is my stomach or pancreas. She admitted she'd feel pretty bad if it's the pancreas and her not looking at it sooner. If it is it can be causing or at least greatly contributing to another major issue I've been experiencing for nearly two years.

It is very frustrating! And I know it's hard to enjoy the no colon cancer news when there are still more questions than answers. I feel the same way. I told my doc today we need to start looking at the bigger picture and what's causing all this cuz this isn't normal, and it's not just part of getting older. I told her I need answers. I'm insisting on them at this point. Maybe it's time we both do?

Take care

 

[LonelyHiker]

I feel for you! I'm in the same damn boat. I'm so sorry you're going thru this, too!

I saw my doc today. It wasn't a scheduled appt, but I have pain in my left kidney area and in front near the stomach so I dropped into her office this morning. The pain has been happening 2 and 3 days.

My doc thinks the kidney area is muscular, but I'm not as confident about that as she is. (Usually this kind and level of muscular pain resolves in a day or two max. This is going on 4 days.) We know it's not an infection.

And I have to have a cat scan Wed to determine if the pain in front is my stomach or pancreas. She admitted she'd feel pretty bad if it's the pancreas and her not looking at it sooner. If it is it can be causing or at least greatly contributing to another major issue I've been experiencing for nearly two years.

It is very frustrating! And I know it's hard to enjoy the no colon cancer news when there are still more questions than answers. I feel the same way. I told my doc today we need to start looking at the bigger picture and what's causing all this cuz this isn't normal, and it's not just part of getting older. I told her I need answers. I'm insisting on them at this point. Maybe it's time we both do?

Take care

Thank yo for commiserating @betteroffunknown, it helps to know you're not alone. Sorry to hear about your symptoms as well, I do hope your Dr gets you some definitive answers and that the news is good!

I wish you well . Keep us posted and I will do the same.

Peace

Tim

 

[Waves]

So I had the scope this morning. The gastroenterologist found one benign polyp, which he removed. I get the pathology report in a week. Other than that, he said everything looked good. I should be happy/relieved, but I'm not.

What's causing all these symptoms then? I still don't feel right. I am seeing the PCP on Tuesday, maybe I need to get screened for other problems.

Well, at least I ruled out colon cancer..

Good news!!!! Benign polyp. I had three precancerous polyps. So you are blessed. Hope your symptoms improve. Truly.

Devenny

 

[Waves]

No one educated me about preparing for life over 55 much less with depression and anxiety. I worry about surviving, meeting basic needs. At this age people are cast aside and not appreciated or wanted. I made the mistake of not marrying and having a family. Now I am all alone and petrified. Afraid I can't live on fixed income after working 30 years. I think about ending it all. Tried medication, moved, joined a Church still no friends. People stay with family. Reality. Yes I pray. Only slither of hope. I feel guilty because chatters talk about self pity. When is it appropriate to ask for support and when is it self pity?

Been a while since I was here in thread. Looked tonight seeking support from fellow seniors. Don't like that word because it is not respected. I have been fighting my situation. Can't fight anymore. Like David fighting Goliath. Only David loses. Like Sillyoldbear said, God didn't promise easy life only that He would be there. Been struggling with what that means. There. Supporting? Not alone? But. . . I am. These are my feelings and thoughts. Other people have these ? I hope? Normal to doubt? Despair? I prepared to avoid being in this situation. But did not anticipate PTSD, depression and anxiety. Stupid me. Thank you for sharing your story. So I don't feel like the only one. Anyone have a miracle blessing that lifted them
Out of this abyss?

Devenny

 

[Acy]

I'm also older, single, and childless. I can relate. I'm not sure what we older, single, "alone" people are to do. I doubt any of us "decided" that being alone in our later middle age and on was what we wanted in life.

I'm sorry @Devenny that friends are few and far between for you right now, despite your efforts to join a church and so on. Those are the right things to try. Have you thought of an interest course you might take through the school board in the evenings. Those tend be less expensive and still quite fun. I think that if you keep trying, you will find good people to be with. You seem like a nice person...if you lived near me, I'd have you here for coffee or tea. *

Of course I worry sometimes too. I keep thinking, though, that if worrying doesn't change things, it's a waste of my time and energy. I'm better off trying to find the good moments and small cost-free pleasures that just happen...sunsets, animals, reading a good book, a funny show on TV.

btw, @Devenny, it took a while for me to "make friends" at church. The people were pleasant and kind enough, but they were already in friendships and relationships, so it took a while to be "noticed". Gradually, as I became a steady presence in the group, I began to make friends. Please keep at it.

I wish good things for all of us. *grouphug*

 

[Waves]

I'm also older, single, and childless. I can relate. I'm not sure what we older, single, "alone" people are to do. I doubt any of us "decided" that being alone in our later middle age and on was what we wanted in life.

I'm sorry @Devenny that friends are few and far between for you right now, despite your efforts to join a church and so on. Those are the right things to try. Have you thought of an interest course you might take through the school board in the evenings. Those tend be less expensive and still quite fun. I think that if you keep trying, you will find good people to be with. You seem like a nice person...if you lived near me, I'd have you here for coffee or tea. *

Of course I worry sometimes too. I keep thinking, though, that if worrying doesn't change things, it's a waste of my time and energy. I'm better off trying to find the good moments and small cost-free pleasures that just happen...sunsets, animals, reading a good book, a funny show on TV.

btw, @Devenny, it took a while for me to "make friends" at church. The people were pleasant and kind enough, but they were already in friendships and relationships, so it took a while to be "noticed". Gradually, as I became a steady presence in the group, I began to make friends. Please keep at it.

I wish good things for all of us. *grouphug*

Thank you Acy. I hope persistence pays off. Been persistent for 4o years. Wondering what the statute of limitation on it might be.
Dev

 

[SillyOldBear]

@Devenny Sorry you are still struggling. Getting old truly sucks! Being alone when young is one thing. Being old when alone is another. Don't know if I can really explain the God thing. About not promising a life of ease, but saying he would be with us. Hell, just think what he put his son through. If his son had to suffer, then we should expect no less. Heard once that our suffering is supposed to help draw us closer to him. Not sure I buy that. Am reading Ecclesiastics right now. Solomon wrote it. He decries everything in life. Saying all is pointless unless you have a right relationship with God. It surely seems pointless to me most of the time. Hope you can find a church family. Acy is right. It can take a while to make friends. You might also have to try several churches before you find a home. Am listening to the BBN (Bible Broadcasting Network) right now. They have some pretty good stuff on at times. And it is perfectly normal to doubt and despair. Perfectly human.

 

[LonelyHiker]

Good news!!!! Benign polyp. I had three precancerous polyps. So you are blessed. Hope your symptoms improve. Truly.

Devenny

Thank you. Now I am afraid it might be my prostate ... symptoms are getting alarmingly worse. Back to the doctor

 

[Waves]

Thank you. Now I am afraid it might be my prostate ... symptoms are getting alarmingly worse. Back to the doctor

I have physical problems from chronic stress. Could that be the case for you too?

 

[LonelyHiker]

I have physical problems from chronic stress. Could that be the case for you too?

I don't know..I don't think so..

 

[Waves]

@Devenny Sorry you are still struggling. Getting old truly sucks! Being alone when young is one thing. Being old when alone is another. Don't know if I can really explain the God thing. About not promising a life of ease, but saying he would be with us. Hell, just think what he put his son through. If his son had to suffer, then we should expect no less. Heard once that our suffering is supposed to help draw us closer to him. Not sure I buy that. Am reading Ecclesiastics right now. Solomon wrote it. He decries everything in life. Saying all is pointless unless you have a right relationship with God. It surely seems pointless to me most of the time. Hope you can find a church family. Acy is right. It can take a while to make friends. You might also have to try several churches before you find a home. Am listening to the BBN (Bible Broadcasting Network) right now. They have some pretty good stuff on at times. And it is perfectly normal to doubt and despair. Perfectly human.

Thank you Sillyoldbear for discussing faith. Such a controversial topic that no one likes to discuss. Since reading the Bible during this breakdown, I am more attuned to the negative perception of humans because of our imperfection, temptations and hedonism. When doing well I believed because I felt blessed. Now I'm pain, I doubt my faith because I don't feel I am heard and more setbacks are mounting instead of signs of encouragement and hope. If God does not impart divine power on the tragedies of the world as it seems given their prevalence and persistence then why pray for intervention? Scratching my head.

Devenny

 

[SillyOldBear]

Yeah, the unanswered prayer bit. I heard one story about a child who was talking about unanswered prayers. Geez, out of the mouth of babes. She said God answered. His answer was just no. But yeah, I don't feel I am heard, or at lease that God and I are not on the same track. Considering the fact that I keep asking him to kill is probably a good reason why we aren't on the same track. Then there is Job. God tested him sorely and Job never lost his faith. But I don't have his strength.

 

[Waves]

Yeah, the unanswered prayer bit. I heard one story about a child who was talking about unanswered prayers. Geez, out of the mouth of babes. She said God answered. His answer was just no. But yeah, I don't feel I am heard, or at lease that God and I are not on the same track. Considering the fact that I keep asking him to kill is probably a good reason why we aren't on the same track. Then there is Job. God tested him sorely and Job never lost his faith. But I don't have his strength.

Yes. Everyone reminds me of Job. It is like the Bible is filmography parables about life. It has not changed in 3,000 years. Nature of man. Ugh

Devenny

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

Just found this thread. I am shocked and saddened that so many people who work(ed) are unable to get basic pensions, medical coverage, housing and so on. I am 49 and a half and am also struggling, mostly because my husband (who has a serious physical disability) was in school for many years then under-employed making 10-20K for years. I used to think there must be tons of programs to help people with disabilities. There is NOTHING if you work. So now my husband who has worked his entire life and only received disability for 2 years will have a pathetic pension when he turns 65 (he is 59 now). We are hoping to save up of course, but I'm scared. I do have a decent pension plan through work but of course I won't be eligible for it for 10 years at the earliest.

It almost seems like those at the top (obviously) and those at the very bottom (long-term welfare or disability recipients who at least here in Canada get a basic although minimal income but also social/subsidized housing, bus passes, medical coverage, dental work, glasses, prescriptions, food bank, and other assistance) do better than low-wage workers. I don't blame those receiving assistance, but there should be some reward for working your whole life other than poverty. Grrrr!

 

[Waves]

Just found this thread. I am shocked and saddened that so many people who work(ed) are unable to get basic pensions, medical coverage, housing and so on. I am 49 and a half and am also struggling, mostly because my husband (who has a serious physical disability) was in school for many years then under-employed making 10-20K for years. I used to think there must be tons of programs to help people with disabilities. There is NOTHING if you work. So now my husband who has worked his entire life and only received disability for 2 years will have a pathetic pension when he turns 65 (he is 59 now). We are hoping to save up of course, but I'm scared. I do have a decent pension plan through work but of course I won't be eligible for it for 10 years at the earliest.

It almost seems like those at the top (obviously) and those at the very bottom (long-term welfare or disability recipients who at least here in Canada get a basic although minimal income but also social/subsidized housing, bus passes, medical coverage, dental work, glasses, prescriptions, food bank, and other assistance) do better than low-wage workers. I don't blame those receiving assistance, but there should be some reward for working your whole life other than poverty. Grrrr!

Yes Lady. It is modern day survival of the fittest. A reason why suicide is up.

 

[BraveFace]

There is def something that says we should have our s*** together by a certain age and that only adds to the pressure and anxiety. I am 45, single and no kids. I had friends years back but they all got married and had kids and I never got to see them again. Even if we made plans they always cancel at the last minute! Been made redundant twice, unemployed for quite a while then finally got a job and worked my way up. Then the shit hit the fan in May and it just keeps getting worse

Lonely and isolated - that's how it becomes and NOT because it's what I wanted.

 

[Waves]

H

There is def something that says we should have our s*** together by a certain age and that only adds to the pressure and anxiety. I am 45, single and no kids. I had friends years back but they all got married and had kids and I never got to see them again. Even if we made plans they always cancel at the last minute! Been made redundant twice, unemployed for quite a while then finally got a job and worked my way up. Then the shit hit the fan in May and it just keeps getting worse

Lonely and isolated - that's how it becomes and NOT because it's what I wanted.

Hi Braveface

Thank you for sharing. It helps to not feel alone. Wish you would join in chatting in the room.

Dev

 

[SillyOldBear]

There is def something that says we should have our s*** together by a certain age and that only adds to the pressure and anxiety.

Then there is the blame that is cast on us if we don't have our s*** together when we are older. We are made to feel guilty because our life is in such a mess.

 

[BraveFace]

@ Devenny - thank you for the reply. I do occasionally chat but more importantly I have only just now figure out how be be offline in chat! x

@ SillyOldBear - that is so true! For years I have been struggling to get it together (all the while self-medicating with alcohol), now that I am at a relatively good place (financially at least, I have a job) I am faced with losing my driving license, losing my job, having to sell my car, quit the course I paid a fortune to do and all it's repercussions. You can guess why, and while I don't condone it I can only say it was the morning after.

Then I just think f***, I was trying so hard to get it together and now I am not even back to square one - I am further behind, so what's the point?