Life over 50

[Waves]

No one educated me about preparing for life over 55 much less with depression and anxiety. I worry about surviving, meeting basic needs. At this age people are cast aside and not appreciated or wanted. I made the mistake of not marrying and having a family. Now I am all alone and petrified. Afraid I can't live on fixed income after working 30 years. I think about ending it all. Tried medication, moved, joined a Church still no friends. People stay with family. Reality. Yes I pray. Only slither of hope. I feel guilty because chatters talk about self pity. When is it appropriate to ask for support and when is it self pity?

Education about healthcare. What can you share about Medicare? Help those who don't know what is involved and need to be prepared. I was told I need to apply three months before my 65th birthday or will be fined! Whether I need it or not! Second misperception. It is not free healthcare. You pay a premium for it. How much? Can you enlighten us? Next issue. Need a supplemental? Because Medicare A only covers certain things. What are those? What do you do about supplemental? And not all doctors take Medicare. Has this been a problem? What are our options? Please share your experience and advice.

Devenny

 

[SillyOldBear]

You do have to enroll in Part A by time you turn 65. Part A only covers some hospital expenses. Like after you are admitted to a hospital. If you don't have other insurance through an employer you also have to enroll in Part B (currently $134 per month). It covers about 80% of non-hospital stuff. You really do need a supplemental plan in addition to Part B. Talk to an insurance broker who specializes in Medicare. Then you need another plan for medication (yep, more money). Dental and vision plans are also extra. Yes, Medicare is a giant rip-off! Is totally confusing. I suggest getting the book 'Medicare for Dummies', available through Amazon. We gotta support Jeff Bezos, right? And really, find an insurance broker in your area and set up an appointment. They are the true experts and can help you understand it and find the best supplemental plans to meet your needs. Those plans are likely to change year to year as your health changes. Especially the prescription drug coverage plans. Good luck with this Dev. You are very wise to start looking at it now. @Devenny

 

[doingbadly]

There is def something that says we should have our s*** together by a certain age and that only adds to the pressure and anxiety. I am 45, single and no kids. I had friends years back but they all got married and had kids and I never got to see them again. Even if we made plans they always cancel at the last minute! Been made redundant twice, unemployed for quite a while then finally got a job and worked my way up. Then the shit hit the fan in May and it just keeps getting worse

Lonely and isolated - that's how it becomes and NOT because it's what I wanted.

@BraveFace: Thank you for your post, especially the last sentence. The loneliness and isolation are NOT what any of us wanted -- who would?? Yet some people (in my case, FAMILY no less) insist to us that we have brought these things unto ourselves. How could anyone be so blind and unempathetic??

 

[doingbadly]

I'm also older, single, and childless. I can relate. I'm not sure what we older, single, "alone" people are to do. I doubt any of us "decided" that being alone in our later middle age and on was what we wanted in life.

I'm sorry @Devenny that friends are few and far between for you right now, despite your efforts to join a church and so on. Those are the right things to try. Have you thought of an interest course you might take through the school board in the evenings. Those tend be less expensive and still quite fun. I think that if you keep trying, you will find good people to be with. You seem like a nice person...if you lived near me, I'd have you here for coffee or tea. *

Of course I worry sometimes too. I keep thinking, though, that if worrying doesn't change things, it's a waste of my time and energy. I'm better off trying to find the good moments and small cost-free pleasures that just happen...sunsets, animals, reading a good book, a funny show on TV.

btw, @Devenny, it took a while for me to "make friends" at church. The people were pleasant and kind enough, but they were already in friendships and relationships, so it took a while to be "noticed". Gradually, as I became a steady presence in the group, I began to make friends. Please keep at it.

I wish good things for all of us. *grouphug*

Acy: I admire your ability to strike a positive tone. As you said, I definitely did not "decide" to be alone in late middle age. And I definitely did not "decide" to have depression so badly that I could no longer work. And while I know many readers on here might be envious that I was able to qualify for disability income, I definitely never "decided" that I wanted to live on $ 1309 / month. I'm living a bare bones lifestyle yet still have to drain from my savings each month to get by. Eventually there will be nothing (and no one) left for me. I am SO VERY SCARED what will become of me.

 

[Waves]

Acy: I admire your ability to strike a positive tone. As you said, I definitely did not "decide" to be alone in late middle age. And I definitely did not "decide" to have depression so badly that I could no longer work. And while I know many readers on here might be envious that I was able to qualify for disability income, I definitely never "decided" that I wanted to live on $ 1309 / month. I'm living a bare bones lifestyle yet still have to drain from my savings each month to get by. Eventually there will be nothing (and no one) left for me. I am SO VERY SCARED what will become of me.

Hello Doingbadly,

I empathize with you. The fear of being alone, helpless and homeless is devastating. This makes it hard to have a good quality of life. People with support tell me to go out and make friends. I would like to see how they do when they are abandoned, anxious, depressed , oppressed by society and full of fear. Do they make friends then? Needless to say people stick to their family. Don't respond to overtures for new friends. I am going to a Church, checked out meetups and tried coworkers at a new job. Rejection, rejection and rejection. And of course no one here has any sure-fire solution so they are frustrated. I lie down in a weary fatigue every day asking God to take me in my sleep. Fear as expected keeps me from actively dying but everything has its limit. It helps to chat. Don't know why. Keeps my mind distracted from loneliness and anxiety most likely. So I hope to chat with you someday.

Devenny

 

[Waves]

I don't know..I don't think so..

How are you Lonelyhiker? Any update on your health issues?

Devenny

 

[Waves]

Hello

Anyone over 50 left here. Feels like there are fewer of us. Hopefully fewer because better. 😕

 

[Waves]

Would like to hear from you. Your stories. To chat.

 

[The Tigress ♡]

Hi there Just checking in to see if you're doing okay. I'm here if you wanna talk

 

[LonelyHiker]

How are you Lonelyhiker? Any update on your health issues?

Devenny

Hi Devenny...I haven't been here in a while, as you probably noticed. Just started feeling like a broken record, I guess. No one likes to feel like they are just whining about the same old litany of woes..

I had a physical, blood work, xrays, PSA test, urinalysis, etc. Everything was normal. So I don't know....I'm still experiencing symptoms on and off..maybe it's all psychosomatic, or maybe it's just getting old.

I wish I could say things were better, but they're not. I won't bore everyone with the banal details. Life has become just that: a life sentence in a mental prison with no walls, no bars, no guards, no lock, and no key.

 

[Claudia UK]

Hello

Anyone over 50 left here. Feels like there are fewer of us. Hopefully fewer because better. 😕

You are not alone Devenny. I just turned 54 in January but I think the reason why you see fewer over 50`s here is that we are a complete different generation and not everybody turns to this kind of chat / conversation or is looking for help in chatrooms like this as we are old school and have been taught by our parents how to deal with problems. ..well.. most of us anyway. Like you , I noticed that too that you mainly see younger ones coming here and its really sad to see that they have been through so much already in their life . I have been approached in the past by other members , younger ones asking for help and advice because they knew that I am older and have more experience and they were so glad for all the help and thanked me.

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

Hi Devenny...I haven't been here in a while, as you probably noticed. Just started feeling like a broken record, I guess. No one likes to feel like they are just whining about the same old litany of woes..

I had a physical, blood work, xrays, PSA test, urinalysis, etc. Everything was normal. So I don't know....I'm still experiencing symptoms on and off..maybe it's all psychosomatic, or maybe it's just getting old.

I wish I could say things were better, but they're not. I won't bore everyone with the banal details. Life has become just that: a life sentence in a mental prison with no walls, no bars, no guards, no lock, and no key.

Glad everything was normal for you LH. I hope you are going to enrol in your workplace benefits this spring when it becomes available for you.

We even pay for health care here in Canada although it's quite low. My employer pays it so I'm not sure how much - it is scaled based on your income.

 

[mpk]

58 yrs old here. Starting a new job with youngsters. Insurance they offer is bare bones yet I will take it. I don't know how long I will last at new job as my body cannot handle like I did when younger. I don't think I will see the age of 60 they way I feel now but who knows right.

 

[SillyOldBear]

Hi @Devenny You know I am over 50. Many health issues. Doctors seem unable to help so I have actually contacted folks at Critical Health News, but while they offer something, I don't trust them and it is expensive. All their products are. Any "medical group" that says don't exercise if you want to lose weight makes me wonder about them. But I am desperate, which makes me the perfect person for them to prey on. Don't know what I will do yet.

 

[cymbele]

Hi @Devenny I am 58 and usually post in the Seniors and later in Life forum. I don't do chat rooms and the like. I am accumulating health issues and always looking for a job. Hopefully the next one I get will be my last but i doubt it. I look at what I have in my 401k and look forward to 59 1/2 when I can take some of it without penalty. I'm scared stiff of both unemployment and retirement. Although I will probably have to work when I am retired so I can afford the extra health insurance.

 

[Waves]

Hi Devenny...I haven't been here in a while, as you probably noticed. Just started feeling like a broken record, I guess. No one likes to feel like they are just whining about the same old litany of woes..

I had a physical, blood work, xrays, PSA test, urinalysis, etc. Everything was normal. So I don't know....I'm still experiencing symptoms on and off..maybe it's all psychosomatic, or maybe it's just getting old.

I wish I could say things were better, but they're not. I won't bore everyone with the banal details. Life has become just that: a life sentence in a mental prison with no walls, no bars, no guards, no lock, and no key.

Yes a prison with no walls, guards etc. Solitary confinement makes it worse I think. Can always use a visitor. I hope you have them.
Dev

 

[Waves]

You are not alone Devenny. I just turned 54 in January but I think the reason why you see fewer over 50`s here is that we are a complete different generation and not everybody turns to this kind of chat / conversation or is looking for help in chatrooms like this as we are old school and have been taught by our parents how to deal with problems. ..well.. most of us anyway. Like you , I noticed that too that you mainly see younger ones coming here and its really sad to see that they have been through so much already in their life . I have been approached in the past by other members , younger ones asking for help and advice because they knew that I am older and have more experience and they were so glad for all the help and thanked me.

Oh that is wonderful that you are valued for your wisdom. Miss seeing that.
Take care, Dev

 

[Waves]

58 yrs old here. Starting a new job with youngsters. Insurance they offer is bare bones yet I will take it. I don't know how long I will last at new job as my body cannot handle like I did when younger. I don't think I will see the age of 60 they way I feel now but who knows right.

Sorry MPK you don't feel you have the stamina. I don't either. You are a fighter to keep going. I really hope you have some joy in the midst of the struggles. Let us know about the job. We are all here for you.

Dev

 

[Waves]

Hi @Devenny You know I am over 50. Many health issues. Doctors seem unable to help so I have actually contacted folks at Critical Health News, but while they offer something, I don't trust them and it is expensive. All their products are. Any "medical group" that says don't exercise if you want to lose weight makes me wonder about them. But I am desperate, which makes me the perfect person for them to prey on. Don't know what I will do yet.

Hmm Bear. Don't exercise and yiu will lose weight? Is it a 200 cal diet? In all seriousness be careful of scams. What may I ask are your symptoms? Maybe someone here has some insight?

Dev

 

[Waves]

Hi @Devenny I am 58 and usually post in the Seniors and later in Life forum. I don't do chat rooms and the like. I am accumulating health issues and always looking for a job. Hopefully the next one I get will be my last but i doubt it. I look at what I have in my 401k and look forward to 59 1/2 when I can take some of it without penalty. I'm scared stiff of both unemployment and retirement. Although I will probably have to work when I am retired so I can afford the extra health insurance.

Oh dear you took the words right out of my mouth. I thought these were the golden years. Sharing our experiences and stories helps to not feel so alone. Working used to be hopeful and rewarding. Now means for survival. I hope you can find a job that treats you well and you like.

Dev