Life over?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by oxygenidia, Jul 1, 2011.

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  1. oxygenidia

    oxygenidia Well-Known Member

    I feel worse and worse every day it seems. I thought that this was a crise I might pull myself through, but I'm starting to have doubts. I trie too look forward, to keep my eyes on the future, but then I realize; what future? I will always be me. There is very unlikely that things will change much for me. 24 years old and have not one friend to call to hang out? How did I get here... How did I become this isolated miserable person. I know it's not cuz I'm a terrible person, but I can't help but feel that way, I mean why else would I not have managed to make at least one good friend during the course of 24 years?

    Other people around me seem to be living their lives. I feel like I'm not even part of life, like I'm allready dead inside my body sort of...
    The thought of suicide has been there since I was about 10 I think. It came and went in periods depending on stuff I went through. But I have always had hope before. Now I feel like I've lost hope. I just can't believe in that old lie anymore that things will be better in a year or two or whenever... because, seriously, what's gonna change?

    I don't want another dissapointment. I wish I felt like I had something to live for, something worth struggling for, but my life just seems so empty and meaningless.
    I know this sounds like a cliche but; "nobody would miss me if I died". That is actually true in my case, and that is a painful thought.

    I just needed to vent.
  2. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    I feel pretty much exactly the same--except I'm twice as old and have been feeling that way twice as long. I don't know why I didn't just give up sooner and save myself a lot of misery. Well, actually I do. I gave three really good tries but just kept ending up damaged and in hospital then got too scared of just damaging myself even worse and stopped trying to even help myself that way. So now I just lie in bed suffering too damaged and scared to either live or die. It's hell really, anyway you look at it. I hope death comes naturally soon. It will be a sweet release. Actually I'm hoping I have throat cancer but I think it's just an infection that won't heal. Anyway, you're still young. There's still hope for you. (I thought so sometimes too at that age and turned out to be wrong but oh well, doesn't mean it's the same for everyone.) Find a therapist, even if there isn't hope, it's a comfort and Sweden has excellent health care so no excuses about money like those Americans now.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 1, 2011
  3. Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way, except Im 40 and have no friends to hang out with.
  4. oxygenidia

    oxygenidia Well-Known Member

    That is my fear about suicide too, that I will just end up even more damaged than before.
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