life seems dark

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by morning rush, Oct 12, 2012.

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  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I can be so tired and feeling dead that I can barely write about it...like I start the thread but then I get a real big down where I can't even write what's wrong...right now I can barely focus to write here...

    I'm down...sad, lonely, missing my mom (she's alive but I just miss her presence), I'm discourage, life seems dark and unwelcoming...
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you hun why not give your mother a call hun just to talk sometimes that helps hugs
     
  3. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    I have been stuck in this same issue, where I want to reach out, but my mind just goes blank... though everything is still there, like that feeling, or maybe the main ideas surrounding the concerns, it's as if all the words you need to describe it, you just don't know anymore.

    Would it help you to maybe read some blogs of other people who write about how they are suffering mentally and what they are dealing with, or how they are getting by in life after trauma/abuse... or anything like that?

    I know that when I sometimes read what other people are writing, I end up doing a lot of "that's me.... me too! YES, YES... I know that feeling.... I know what you're describing etc...".

    BUT, I also get a lot of: "They are saying exactly what it is that I have been unable to say..." or "oh... so THAT'S what this is called!".

    It has helped me a bit, to maybe put a face to some of the things I am facing, or give them descriptions.... because I am not currently in therapy, but many of the blogs that I do stumble upon, are written by people who are in fact in therapy, some of whom have been in therapy for 9 years even...

    Thus, some of what they are saying, at least can help me have a voice in an indirect way, or can give me something to show others who I might need to communicate with, to tell them what I really mean... just through someone else's words.

    It is just an idea, for those times when your mind really is blank to discuss yourself... there are others, who can be your voice too.... and many of those "others", are writing for that purpose too... so that others can come and read it, and not feel so alone, and not feel so isolated in their problem, and not feel lost for words, and not feel like nobody will ever get them etc....

    This is what I can say to part of what you wrote.... it doesn't even offer you really much comfort for some of the other things you are emotionally traumatized with right now.... such as how dark life seems... how discouraged you feel.

    Can I ask if you are on speaking terms with your mother?

    Or are you two fighting and/or don't really discuss personal matters with her?

    I am asking this, because you said that you missed her, and you also mentioned that you are discouraged.... and I can't help but know that part of a parents' job is to re-assure their children, and encourage them, support them etc... and to always be a kind of "welcoming" entity in your life.

    Is this something your mother does not provide... or just something you are afraid to ask to receive, because you are fearful that maybe if you are honest, she will end up hurting you instead?
     
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    yes I do tend to read and reach out...but sometimes it just gets me so down I can't do anything at all...sometimes I can't even move or think...all goes down and I'm blank...

    I am in good terms with my mom, but it's just that I used to see her often and now I'm lucky if I see her once a week...so I guess it's a process I need to go through and get used to...I'm discouraged because I can't think or do anything...but that's my anxiety...I managed to take a bath and pampered myself a bit...

    thanks for both of you for responding...
     
  5. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    Is maybe the quality of time spent with your mother... not up to your expectations anymore?

    Because it's one thing to still see her... but another to always sort of feel disappointed that you never get the quality you need anymore...?

    Do you get what I am asking here?

    Because she is still your mother, and it seems you enjoy seeing her.... but is there maybe something that has changed in your visits, or just a different feeling you get... that leaves you feeling lonely, and missing her...... even when you are with her?
     
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