Life seems pointless

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Elmid, Mar 1, 2011.

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  1. Elmid

    Elmid New Member

    I’m 19 and attend a major university as a sophomore. I’ve recently become discontent with my life. I don’t really think I’d be considered depressed. I’m generally pleasant to be around, but from time to time I feel everything is worthless. I don’t have any real reason to be unhappy. I’ve got friends, good parents, and a promising future, but life seems pointless. I have no real problems or troubles in my life as would normally come with someone with my current viewpoint. I’ve always been content until recently. I was a Christian until about a year ago. I came to the conclusion that God was far too implausible. Since then I’ve come to enjoy a lot of partying. Day to day life lost its appeal. I live for the weekend to give up the little worries and focus on fun. Before I would have thought myself a terrible person for it, but it hasn’t negatively affected my grades or relationships. It’s the little things that make me so discontent. When I’ve got to study or do homework I just want get high or go have a few beers with friends, though I generally succeed in saving it for the weekend.

    I’ve tried to find some higher purpose in life to motivate myself to care, but I must agree with a common criticism of atheism. Without a God, life has no purpose. Perhaps to better the lives of future generations or to simply continue the species? That seems pointless. Everyone will die eventually. There are those who say everyone has to find their own purpose. Forgive me, but that just seems dumb. Even if you succeed at whatever your self-proclaimed purpose may be, your purpose won’t matter when you’re gone. From this I’ve come to the conclusion that I should make my goal after that from the religions. They want to live well so they may have the ultimate pleasure: eternity in heaven. I suppose that means I should simply try to live to experience the highest net pleasure in my lifetime, whether emotional or physical. The issue with that is that it leaves me with the issue that to experience many of life’s pleasures, you must work. To have money to spend on the things you want in life you need to have a good job. To have a good job you need to do well in school. To do well in school you’ve got to study. To study you’ve got to put off the things you want to do for the moment. Why not just live for the moment for a few days, party hard, eat the most expensive foods, go somewhere fun, then just kill myself off. I’d be sure to die on a good note.

    Death is nothing I fear. Perhaps dying may be a little painful, but death itself I expect to be just like before I was born: nothing. I realize it would hurt my parents, but their pain will diminish and in the grand scheme of things it won’t matter. I may miss out on some of the great things in life. I’ll never be married, have children of my own, or build a legacy to pass on, but ignorance is bliss. I won’t know that I’m missing anything really worthwhile. Even if I were to live ‘til those things: maybe they’re not as great as they’re made out to be? Maybe they aren’t worth the trouble needed to get there?

    I realize my issues may not be as pressing as many of the others on here I’ve read, but recently life’s just begun to seem pointless. I appreciate any feedback.
  2. cateyezgold

    cateyezgold New Member

    I am also 19 and I attend a major university as a junior. I agree with you- that there is serious lack of motivation to just live day to day. I don't have any answers or helpful advice I just sympathize and understand where you are coming from.
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I used to be christian as well. And I can see where your coming from. However, I don't believe everything is pointless. There are some instances where there are people who have made a big difference in the world. And sometimes its not about the grand scheme of things.

    Right now the world is so harsh and negative. I think right now we need to stay alive and show the world what it is doing to itself. There is a lot to life when we don't look at the entire world... And in the end, the world would not exist without the smaller communities that support it.

    Just like in government. You can't simply have a government and no governed. Even the people at the very bottom have to kind of be there I guess in this world. As it seems this world is based on hierarchy.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is, in the big picture you may not matter. But when you look more detailed into the world, you do. And you can make a difference. Maybe not directly. Maybe one day you end up saving someones life because you were in the right place. Maybe one day that person will change the world. Who knows?

    There are so many different possibilities out there. And in my opinion it is better to live and see the all possibilities my own life may bring. I can't make anyone else live. And I can't convince you to believe what I do.

    Anyway, Sorry for the long reply. I hope you feel better soon. :hug:
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    That you find life meaningless and are thinking about suicide indicates that you are depressed. You may want to see a school mental health councilor or other therapist, maybe get a referral from an md to see a psychiatrist.

    if they are good parents, it would probably hurt them more than you know. losing a child, especially to suicide, is the most psychologically devastating thing that a person can experience.
  5. anon-alex

    anon-alex Member

    I've got a post on the front page that pretty much says what you're saying here, in many fewer words. Just posting here so you know you're not on your own with the thoughts, as I thought I was until I read this.
  6. srhk24

    srhk24 Member

    Wow, when I was reading this it was like a mirror image of myself. I too am a 19 year old atheist college sophomore. It's good to know that I'm not alone in these thoughts. I honestly do not see any point in living.
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