OK well i posted here in the suicide part. And thought I'd best explain my situation rather than have you all confused. Basically 0-3 my dad abused my mum. And one of my memories is.. >>he set fire to my mum whilst she was in bed, i found her, and am now scared of fire. for life that was when i was 2 and a half. we left him when i was 3 He also threatend to sexually abuse me. 8-10 my mum had another abusive relationship. This time he abused me also. He was always throwing me into my bedroom wall. One time, near the end of their relationship, he beat my mum up with a dog lead, and i managed to get it from him, and beat him up. 13-17(and counting++++++) my mum is now in another relationship, with a man, who is emotionally and verbally abusive. I've ran away twice because of him. once when i was 13. and another when i was 16. and tried to kill myself a few times because of him. and it is because of him that i started selfharming. 15-16 i had an abusive boyfriend. He raped me. And abused me, for a year out of a year and 2 month relationship. and a final rape a week after HE left me. 16-17.. i had another boyfriend. i ended up abusing him, because i was afraid to be abused. i got with him 2 weeks after my abusive boyfriend left me. MY "new" boyfriend helped me get past alot of things. But now they are back, as things were never really resolved. And now i am single. And hating life. i am in counselling. and i am on AD;s.