Life sucks! (may trigger)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lancashirelass, Jul 29, 2011.

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  1. lancashirelass

    lancashirelass Well-Known Member

    I hate my life nothing is going right. First i get the phone call about my rapist which is bad enough now today i finally realise my relationship is a joke. I learnt this when i gave my bf my tablets to look after telling him how bad i felt and he changed the subject then later on my knee gave way and i fell to the floor he ignored me cos he was drunk but just after that he fell over pissed and although i could hardly walk i went to check on him. He only then asked if i was ok when he saw me limping but when i said no he turned over in bed and went to sleep. His drink comes before everything some days i have to take the dog out in the evening on my own as he is too drunk which wouldn't be a problem except i am anxious going out in the evening on my own. I really feel like life isn't woth living anymore.
     
  2. takencontrol

    takencontrol Well-Known Member

    hey hunni, im really sorry things are so bad for you just now, i hope you can find the strength to carry on and fight. lots of hugs coming your way. :hug:
     
  3. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Is it possible that you can take a break from being with your BF (financially possible and something you might consider)?

    :hugtackles:

    more hugs coming your way, Dawn. I know it. ;)
     
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Your bf is the one with the problem...please do not consider hurting yourself over his shortcomings...and, have you considered asking him what he intends to do about his drinking? Sounds like it does play a major part in your life with him...please be safe and know you are cared for here...big hugs
     
  5. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Hey Dawn - don't beat yourself up over this - its not your fault.

    As for this man - I'm not sure being with him is good for you. I hate to say things like that - but I've followed your progress a little and this man sounds like a pretty bad one as it happens. Maybe your taking second best just for the sake of a relationship - do you struggle when not in one? I know lots of people like that - mates who will move in with ANY woman who takes them to be frank.

    Sober on the first date - a handful of compliments - then its all downhill. Men like that - are rats - scurrying around looking to 'nest' near any warmth and a food supply.

    Drinkers are the worse. I'm a pretty active guy when it comes to getting wrecked to the highest degree, but NO WAY have I even upset a woman - for good guys like me - we feel BAD upsetting a woman. Sure - arguments can happen in any good relationship from time to time - but any woman who is being belittled by her man - treated badly, ought to get the hell out!

    I judge this by my sisters. I look after them and protect them - thankfully they ended up with decent men who take them on holidays, hand over money so she can buy nice things for the home. Also - my sisters will not tolerate their men coming home and falling over and getting argumentative, moody and so on.

    One of my sisters did go through a few bad men. The worse was a thug - who hit her. His 'bravery' was not so forthcoming after he was 'told off' by men not intimidated by thugs. He vanished - not 'vanished' like I'm chopping up bodies for the well-being of sisters! He left. Like a rat returning to the sewer I guess.

    So be very very careful out there! I mean its the same for men with relationships in that a wrong one can make depression return like Muhammed Ali in the 'Rumble in the Jungle (he got battered but took every punch and won victoriously)

    For woman its even more 'dangerous' if you choose the wrong man and have no 'circle of trust' to confide in. Females friends for woman are usually essential when it comes to a choice of man. You should drag them around all your mates - family - get opinions and maybe spend a year just getting to know him.

    Sometimes life fast tracks romance - and better to just rush in sometimes - as life is short and if you really fall for someone then its a risk whatever way you look at it. I mean - sometimes you do 'know' when someone is right. But for us with depression - we got to consider that emotions can push us into just seeking that basic level of connection we find in romance - or, just the plain old sexual connection as its a modern age and people trade off in that way.

    Just be careful with relationships especially if your going through a vulnerable time. Don't move in with anyone in a rush - because although it can be lonely living on your own - it can be a million times worse when you are living with someone and still feel alone!!!

    If I had a woman who was playing up like your man - I'd put all her clothes and 'things' out of the bathroom into binbags. This happens a lot! Some fed up woman gathers up some drunken uncouth layabouts clothes and belongings and puts them in bin bags. the next day - its time for a taxi!

    If a man becomes a problem - get rid of him. Asking him to deal with problems - sure - but tell him to deal with them in his mums or something. If she will even have him!!

    If he is not nice to you everyday - in the morning, when he comes from work - whenever - you might as well just bash his head in with a spade. Er. No! Do not do that! Its illegal and you will never get the blood out of your nice sheets.

    OK Lancashire Lass - in my view this man is a bit of a waster.

    He is dragging you down.

    I also recall he was bringing his son to live if memory serves right?

    I don't think he actually ought to have custody of the poor kid.

    And it is not your job to be his stand in mother as well as the woman who has to put up with all his issues.

    I'd like to see you get well - and think you can do this and sort your life out a little.

    Your carrying weight though.

    Some woman are handicapped by their men.

    I HATE to see this. To see someone gradually bullied to the point were they accept the situation, likely convinced by Mr Charming there - who will be putting you down so you don't have the confidence to ditch him and find a man who will take you for a drink - or act in a sober manner and treat you with the respect you deserve.

    Sorry things are a bit on top now - can you not ditch him and escape to your mums for a few days. If she is still alive of course. Apologies if she is not.
     
  6. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    It's better that you get rid of him Dawn... he is stifling your growth as a person. You've been with him another two months, and yet nothing has changed. I agree that he is not worth the continued effort you have put forth.

    Let him get someone else to do everything for him. You have better things to do.
     
  7. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Bang on the nail.

    You should be growing as a person when someone loves you.

    And feel a lot happier about yourself.

    Anything less is second best, third best perhaps.

    You deserve a lot better.
     
  8. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Not sure what to say right now, but just know we care about you and I'm sending u my hugs. :hug:
     
  9. lancashirelass

    lancashirelass Well-Known Member

    Thanx uys it's nice to know some ppl do appreciate me. :hug:
     
  10. lancashirelass

    lancashirelass Well-Known Member

    Peaceloving guy i think you have me mixed up with someone else as my bf of 14yrs doesn't have any children.
     
  11. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Sorry - my mistake - I was thinking of someone else.

    But - the rest still stands I guess.

    For all I know your depression might be making you paint a bad picture of him but I do not think so.

    If your being held back, its a choice sometimes to not be able to see the way out of a long term relationship. 14 years is a long time to know someone. you actually know him inside out I guess. No secrets left - his mask well and truly slipped.

    You have to accept some faults in any relationship. but if one has more than the other and drags them down, that's a point at which maybe things have gone as far as they can go.

    Hey - you might WAKE UP this man - every woman generally wants to tame the faults in any man - make him a better person which is great. But it is a two way thing - and a man has to be the stronger person emotionally IF his woman is not so strong.

    A man can be flawed emotionally or depressed - but really, in a relationship it only works if a man is not just strong emotionally - but respectful.

    He should be nice to you.

    If he is not - in my opinion, he should be nice or be told to leave, likely sooner than later - like sooner in a few days.

    Don't feel in any way I'm telling you what to do - I know its hard enough as you got all these questions in your head right now.

    What does your gut instinct say to you?

    If I asked you if he should stay or go - and answer in one second - what did you answer?

    Answer before you process the answer.

    It aint always right - but you would be surprised.
     
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